I Want Someone to Love Me, Without Being Told How

It's a sad day when you are in the shower, trying to cry as silently as possible, but you're afraid that if it's too loud, it'll hurt more. I've been married too long to the wrong person. It's sad because I know that he cares about me, but he doesn't know how to love. He doesn't know how to comfort. He doesn't know how to guide me. He doesn't know how to communicate. For awhile now, I've searched deep within me to find out if there is anything I could work off of. Is he a good friend? Does he make me laugh? Does he say the right things at the right time? Is he romantic? I stay for convenience and I can't do this anymore.

I didn't make the right choice to stay here. And although there is so much regret over HIM, it probably was best that I didn't stick around for that either.

I hate seeing happy people. People holding hands, pronouncing their love with one another one Facebook. Most of all, I'm irritated with the happiness my sister has. And the happiness that HE has.

I want someone to love me without being told how, what to say, what to do. I want to feel natural with someone. I want to feel like I've never felt before.

I don't want to feel alone like this anymore...