I Am Emotionally Unstable

My mood changes by the days. Sometimes I feel awesome for 5 days but then something bringsback memories which can make me depressed within seconds. Today I was about to accept the fact that I can move on and I wanted to empower that feeling by sharing it with the people who has stood by me for the past couple of days. But once one of those people left I got flashbacks and it just dropped my heart so fast onto the floor that i felt empty. I know he had a good reason for leaving and I don't blame him in anyway but it triggered something.

Another friend left is what my mind is telling me and the verbal abuse started in my head again. I do not want to be reminded of my friend because missing him and letting him go is hard.

I need to calm down and that new friend did not leave me and I just have to acceot that. But I just snapped at that point. I know it will not stay only with today I will probably have more moments like this will happen and I just have to prepare for it.