I Am Emotionally Unstable
I Just Need To Come Up For Air- I'M Drowning Here!... Ive Just had a long hard day- mother demarnding things - loads of work on- just need some me time - can't seem to get it - haven't had a day off in weeks - just so fxxking tired - no one else cares, or wants to help my mum - so it's all down to me- and my wife not happy that I'm out all the time either working or round mums - aghhhh- im working all day tomorrow - round mums all day wednesday- and Thursday - Friday working all day- and same Saturday - work has got loads of staff off sick - so I can't get a day off- mum keeps phoning me asking for things - I'm nit gonna get a day off now for two more weeks - im exauasted - and I can't see the light at the end if the tunnel-
Mum hasn't got anyone else to help her- she doesn't go out - so if I dont get her food- and the dogs food- they both go Hungry- I can't bear to see that- my concience won't allow that - I can't see her going hungry - so I have to keep helping her- she's only 70- if she goes on living for another 20 years or so(and I ain't wishing her gone, by any means) - I'm 45 now - that means I ain't gonna be free to do my things till I'm old and grey(er) - lol-
I can't find a solution - mum won't have carers in- the last Loy caused so much trouble - they stole money - wrecked the bathroom - spilt bleach all over the carpet - broke the shower- and our carers won't go shopping for food - or walk the dog- so I'm stuffed -
She has always had dad to help her- when he got ill - I took over - now he's gone - she has nobody else - no relatives - no neighbours- nothing - and I can't keep up this forever - it's killing me - just don't know what to do any more!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't step away from my mum- the guilt would override my life
And I can't keep up this level of help that she needs
Neither of us had loads of money- so we can't employ a helper
She's on a pension only - I'm only just keeping my head above the water-
And that's why I'm a bit fed up
Ive tried - I really have - I cant find a solution- mum won't have other people in the house - I've asked her over and over - and dint matter what I say to her she says she only want me to help her- I say "I can't come round Wednesday" she then turns on the sad face and says " what about this and what about that"- ive tried so hard - and I'm fighting an uphill battle -
Just so tired - all the time - I aint sleeping proper
Ain't eating proper - I know - it's bad for me - it will put me in hospital - yeah - I've heard it all from many folk - but I just don't know what to do Next - I really don't -
Maybe I will feel better inthe morning - Gonna hit the sack - get some sleep - I know it will all still be there in the morning - but at least whilst im sleeping - I ain't worrying -
Mark xxxxxxxxxxx
Mum hasn't got anyone else to help her- she doesn't go out - so if I dont get her food- and the dogs food- they both go Hungry- I can't bear to see that- my concience won't allow that - I can't see her going hungry - so I have to keep helping her- she's only 70- if she goes on living for another 20 years or so(and I ain't wishing her gone, by any means) - I'm 45 now - that means I ain't gonna be free to do my things till I'm old and grey(er) - lol-
I can't find a solution - mum won't have carers in- the last Loy caused so much trouble - they stole money - wrecked the bathroom - spilt bleach all over the carpet - broke the shower- and our carers won't go shopping for food - or walk the dog- so I'm stuffed -
She has always had dad to help her- when he got ill - I took over - now he's gone - she has nobody else - no relatives - no neighbours- nothing - and I can't keep up this forever - it's killing me - just don't know what to do any more!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't step away from my mum- the guilt would override my life
And I can't keep up this level of help that she needs
Neither of us had loads of money- so we can't employ a helper
She's on a pension only - I'm only just keeping my head above the water-
And that's why I'm a bit fed up
Ive tried - I really have - I cant find a solution- mum won't have other people in the house - I've asked her over and over - and dint matter what I say to her she says she only want me to help her- I say "I can't come round Wednesday" she then turns on the sad face and says " what about this and what about that"- ive tried so hard - and I'm fighting an uphill battle -
Just so tired - all the time - I aint sleeping proper
Ain't eating proper - I know - it's bad for me - it will put me in hospital - yeah - I've heard it all from many folk - but I just don't know what to do Next - I really don't -
Maybe I will feel better inthe morning - Gonna hit the sack - get some sleep - I know it will all still be there in the morning - but at least whilst im sleeping - I ain't worrying -
Mark xxxxxxxxxxx
