I Know There Are Good People In This World
I was putting together info for a job application when I came across an article about my old boss at the job I had years ago. He died last year from an untreatable degenerative condition. Considering how rushed news sites are nowadays, the article did a surprisingly good job of showing who he was as a person. But I worked closely with the man for years - so I know that the article barely scratched the surface.
He was a good man. A really, truly, good man. A true public servant who deserved to live for so many more decades than he did. The other people that worked with him or under him, or who coordinated their work through him - they all know what kind of a man he was.
But the part that no one knows is that he spent his whole life being used by toxic people. He was pathologically blind to the larger patterns of behavior of people with passive aggressive personality disorder. It wasn't just him being in denial - he had a delusion that made him incapable of seeing them for who they really were. His wife was one of them, so was one of the guys he worked with on his core team.
He was used by wicked people for his whole life, some of whom he loved, and then he died slowly. He kept doing his job, even as his condition ate away at him. He never thought about himself or his own needs - only the needs of others. And then he died too young. So many of the people closest to him are too selfish to grieve for anything but their own loss.
I grieved when I found out about his condition, and helped him however I could when we worked together. But I left that job long before he died. I hadn't thought about him in a long time, but seeing that article brought it all back. It wasn't fair. He deserved to have better people in his life. He deserved to live forever. If anyone did, it was him. He deserved better.
He was a good man. A really, truly, good man. A true public servant who deserved to live for so many more decades than he did. The other people that worked with him or under him, or who coordinated their work through him - they all know what kind of a man he was.
But the part that no one knows is that he spent his whole life being used by toxic people. He was pathologically blind to the larger patterns of behavior of people with passive aggressive personality disorder. It wasn't just him being in denial - he had a delusion that made him incapable of seeing them for who they really were. His wife was one of them, so was one of the guys he worked with on his core team.
He was used by wicked people for his whole life, some of whom he loved, and then he died slowly. He kept doing his job, even as his condition ate away at him. He never thought about himself or his own needs - only the needs of others. And then he died too young. So many of the people closest to him are too selfish to grieve for anything but their own loss.
I grieved when I found out about his condition, and helped him however I could when we worked together. But I left that job long before he died. I hadn't thought about him in a long time, but seeing that article brought it all back. It wasn't fair. He deserved to have better people in his life. He deserved to live forever. If anyone did, it was him. He deserved better.
36-40, M