I Am Not Who I Used to Be and I'm Struggling
I know there is a point in your life where you become an adult and you can't blame your parents anymore.
I feel like sh*t
My parents didn't really teach me anything. They aren't horrible people and I know they care about me. But they never set me up to survive.
Mentally I'm a super independent person. I would rather do things by myself. But there are some things that I can't.
I still live with my mom. She keeps complaining that No one works and No one helps her and that she wishes someone would help pay the bills because she wants to be able to enjoy her life a little bit before she dies and not work.
I've been applying for jobs. I've been really trying. I only got one call so far. But I'd have to go in at 4 in the moring. I don't have a car.
Nobody taught me to drive.
When I went to school to get a professional license. My mom would complain about how much work it was for her to get me to school.
And she would scream at me telling me how tired she was.
I was panicking because the little computers that the school gave us kept breaking and I had 3 days to finish a project. And she starts yelling at me about how tired she is and about how hard she works.
At the time I was working and going to school.
I only made enough money to buy myself things that I needed.
And I was so exauseted that I would be falling asleep on the table at school when the students were pratcing waxing my arms.
I just remember being so tired. And so exhausted.
I got into the elite design team. That meant I had to be at school a little early.
My mom never said that I was doing good she just said she coudlnt Wait for me to be done so she didn't have to drive me.
I was so exhausted but I never complained.
So I can't drive I don't have a license. Also even if I did. Would someone buy me a car? Lol...
I'm so tired of trying.
So I asked my mom if she would be willing to take me to work at 4 am.
Shes complaining about it. Not giving me a yes or no answer.
So I keep saying I'm not even going to call these people if you are just going to complain about how tired you are and I'm not going to make myself look like I'm an irresponsible person. If you arent going to drive me.
She for some reason says I keep acting like the victim.
So I've decided I'm not going to call them back because I don't want to have to deal with my mom yelling at me about how tired she Is because of me.
Also there is another job. That she showed me. I called and they told me to come in to fill out an application.
She complained about how she didn't know how I was going to get there.
So of course I get annoyed asking her why she even showed me the job if she was going to complain.
I'm so tired of trying.
And I feel like a loser because there are people who have nothing and they have jobs and they make their lives better. But I'm just a loser.
I remember my dad stopped over for like 5 mins. And at the time I had a job. He asked me if I had a job and I said yes. And he said great that means that I can talk about you. So I guess before I had the job he was too embarrassed of me to talk about me.
I feel like sh*t
My parents didn't really teach me anything. They aren't horrible people and I know they care about me. But they never set me up to survive.
Mentally I'm a super independent person. I would rather do things by myself. But there are some things that I can't.
I still live with my mom. She keeps complaining that No one works and No one helps her and that she wishes someone would help pay the bills because she wants to be able to enjoy her life a little bit before she dies and not work.
I've been applying for jobs. I've been really trying. I only got one call so far. But I'd have to go in at 4 in the moring. I don't have a car.
Nobody taught me to drive.
When I went to school to get a professional license. My mom would complain about how much work it was for her to get me to school.
And she would scream at me telling me how tired she was.
I was panicking because the little computers that the school gave us kept breaking and I had 3 days to finish a project. And she starts yelling at me about how tired she is and about how hard she works.
At the time I was working and going to school.
I only made enough money to buy myself things that I needed.
And I was so exauseted that I would be falling asleep on the table at school when the students were pratcing waxing my arms.
I just remember being so tired. And so exhausted.
I got into the elite design team. That meant I had to be at school a little early.
My mom never said that I was doing good she just said she coudlnt Wait for me to be done so she didn't have to drive me.
I was so exhausted but I never complained.
So I can't drive I don't have a license. Also even if I did. Would someone buy me a car? Lol...
I'm so tired of trying.
So I asked my mom if she would be willing to take me to work at 4 am.
Shes complaining about it. Not giving me a yes or no answer.
So I keep saying I'm not even going to call these people if you are just going to complain about how tired you are and I'm not going to make myself look like I'm an irresponsible person. If you arent going to drive me.
She for some reason says I keep acting like the victim.
So I've decided I'm not going to call them back because I don't want to have to deal with my mom yelling at me about how tired she Is because of me.
Also there is another job. That she showed me. I called and they told me to come in to fill out an application.
She complained about how she didn't know how I was going to get there.
So of course I get annoyed asking her why she even showed me the job if she was going to complain.
I'm so tired of trying.
And I feel like a loser because there are people who have nothing and they have jobs and they make their lives better. But I'm just a loser.
I remember my dad stopped over for like 5 mins. And at the time I had a job. He asked me if I had a job and I said yes. And he said great that means that I can talk about you. So I guess before I had the job he was too embarrassed of me to talk about me.
31-35, F
