I Dislike Deadbeat Parents

Well my mom said I was a huge mistake because of my disability and left us because of it. She did drugs before she left is. I went to visit my mom in England. I made plans to live there and wanted to have a mother and daughter relationship. She stood me up for dinner twice. She just said, "I forgot" and didn't apologize or feel awful about it. She didn't seen to care. The first time I waited for 3 hours and the second an hour. I'm so sick of my mom breaking promises. At first she was happy to see me but she got distant from me towards the end of this week. We had a huge argument and she didn't understand how much just and pain she caused I our family? My dad was heartbroken and so was my brothers and me. We made plans to do breakfast but I ask if she was going to keep her promise and she said she was. Guess what, she cancelled the last minute. I was angry! When I left for home to get on the plane. She was like, "It was good to see you sweetie." I said, "You too.....Laura (my mom's name)." Yes I called her Laura. She looked hurt but she just walked away. I was too hurt about what she said to me. I'm glad to be back home with my dad and everyone. My mom isn't even interested being parental. When I see people with their mothers and bonding, I get jealous. Things did not work out and my mom isn't interested in being parental. Why can't my mom be like mothers. I see mothers and daughters with their mother and daughter days I get very jealous and angry. My cousins that I know of have AMAZING mothers! My aunts are amazing. My brothers and I got unlucky. WHY CANT OUR MOM BE LIKE OTHER MOMS?!

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

You have all my empathy. I strongly suspect the answer to your essentially rhetorical question is: Because she is an irresponsible, basically immature chronic drug addict.

I wish I could offer you some comfort. My own mother was a dedicated member of a cult-like group of political fanatics located within the old Communist Party, and she was horribly abusive to me. There was no room for me in her world, or in her her thinking. I loved her and needed a mother and all I had was an angry sadistic person whom everyone feared.

It's really hard to not have a mother, and because she refuses to be a mother; my mother preferred to worship Joseph Stalin, your mother's god is drugs. We have both lost a lot. Actually, they have too.

You tried. None of this is your fault. You certainly have every right to be angry. But I hope you can somehow find some peace within yourself. Some people, even mothers, are flawed beyond all ability to be what we need and want.