I Wish Cancer Didnt Exist
I know this probably isn't a great place to vent, but I need to get something off my chest. Buckle up, buttercup, this might be a tad long. (And honestly, I don't mind if no one reads this. It'd be nice to hear some feedback, but it's cool if I don't.)
So, my aunt has stage four breast cancer. We aren't super close, but we still really enjoy the time we get to spend with her. She's never been on chemo, or had radiation. Her medication as far as I am aware is some sort of a pill. She was only supposed to live 1-5 years. She was diagnosed in 2010 or maybe 2011, so she's done extremely well and has lived much longer than expected. It's not even that she's doing bad now. The only change is that the medication she was on stopped helping her tumors from growing, so they switched her medication. Now, we have to wait and see if this medicine will work. I know this isn't that big of a deal, but she seems more tired and in more pain than usual (could be the medicine.) But now that her old medicine stopped working, it got me thinking that she might not have much longer. That might be a stretch, I know. Especially considering this medication she has been put on now could help her the way the last medicine she was on helped her for almost eight years. But, now, I don't know. It's almost just like it feels real now. I'm not ready for her to be gone. Which might sound silly, considering that we don't even know if this medication will help or hurt in the long run. For whatever reason, this time, it feels different, and it's affecting me. I have depression, but now I have trouble eating and sleeping, and I feel like I am about to cry at any moment. I know this was a long post, but does anyone that managed to read this have any suggestions? Or have any idea why I might be feeling this way?
Sorry that this was INSANELY long.
Love,
Marilyn.
So, my aunt has stage four breast cancer. We aren't super close, but we still really enjoy the time we get to spend with her. She's never been on chemo, or had radiation. Her medication as far as I am aware is some sort of a pill. She was only supposed to live 1-5 years. She was diagnosed in 2010 or maybe 2011, so she's done extremely well and has lived much longer than expected. It's not even that she's doing bad now. The only change is that the medication she was on stopped helping her tumors from growing, so they switched her medication. Now, we have to wait and see if this medicine will work. I know this isn't that big of a deal, but she seems more tired and in more pain than usual (could be the medicine.) But now that her old medicine stopped working, it got me thinking that she might not have much longer. That might be a stretch, I know. Especially considering this medication she has been put on now could help her the way the last medicine she was on helped her for almost eight years. But, now, I don't know. It's almost just like it feels real now. I'm not ready for her to be gone. Which might sound silly, considering that we don't even know if this medication will help or hurt in the long run. For whatever reason, this time, it feels different, and it's affecting me. I have depression, but now I have trouble eating and sleeping, and I feel like I am about to cry at any moment. I know this was a long post, but does anyone that managed to read this have any suggestions? Or have any idea why I might be feeling this way?
Sorry that this was INSANELY long.
Love,
Marilyn.
