I Wonder If He Misses Me Like I Miss Him

He's dead. But I just wonder why he never loved me or cared about me. I know the reasons why but I just can't wrap my head around as to why those are the reasons. Why I meant nothing to him. But, I'm glad that there are girls younger than me who don't have to experience that deep, open, pain. That they have a dad to be there for them. -sigh- As I think about it, I blocked a lot of memories of me w/ him. I remember the big ones but, if I stop and think back on what memories I suppressed when I was having fun with my dad. It hurts too much to think about. It is what it is. Nothing can change that. Its what it is. -sigh- it has effected me, I'm not gonna lie. But, it makes me happy to see other girls not go through this. I didn't turn into a rebellious, needing male attention women. I just remember the hurt and keep it locked away. And move on with my life. But I will never forget what he did.



But the experience never made me or changed me into someone I didn't want to be. I chose to be the woman I am today. And I strived to it.