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I Am Not Afraid to Die

I used to fear death. Not the dying part, but the ceasing to exist. I finally realized that, as I have no idea what, if anything, comes next, I should just enjoy [i]this [/i] life as much as possible.

So what if our memories die with us? If we've lived a happy life, then we are doing the best we can, for ourselves. If we are happy, then we will affect the people who know us, in a positive way, and our legacy, when we die, will be their memories of the happiness we shared with them.

Even when nobody is left to remember us, the joy we shared will be living in the heart of someone who got the benefit of that from someone whose life we enriched while we lived.

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akindheart · 61-69, F

my sister in law is dying of terminal cancer. i think "thinking" about dying and actually being in the moment is quite different. she seems to be at peace as her days are numbered.

Serenitree · F

@akindheart My mom was like that too. She simply accepted it, and right up to half an hour before taking her last breath, she was weeding her garden and feeding the birds and chatting up the neighbours who happened to be around too.

Then she came inside called to me and said I need you, and then she died.

akindheart · 61-69, F

@Serenitree wow!!! my SIL had a sudden burst of energy too and we were able to get her baptized but i fear she will do what your mother did. cancer is a horrible disease.

Serenitree · F

@akindheart My mom, dad, grandmother and two cousins died of cancer. I can only surmise that I very likely will too.

Serenitree · F

@akindheart But my mom didn't have a sudden burst of energy. When she was told she had terminal cancer, she simply went on with her daily life as it had been all along. Every morning she tended her garden and fed the birds. She watched her tv shows and kept up on the news. She was an intelligent woman who was really interested in the world and its people.

akindheart · 61-69, F

@Serenitree my SIL is a very strong woman but her cancer has put her down. she can't hardly walk.

Serenitree · F

@akindheart My mom was elderly. In the end, the cancer didn't get a chance to kill her, because her heart quit first.

My dad, on the other hand, was only 57, and apart from cancer, he was healthy. By the time he died, he had not even enough strength to hold a pencil, let alone walk.

akindheart · 61-69, F

@Serenitree my mom and dad died young-46 and 47. very unexpectedly. my SIL had cancer once and beat it. she is still alive but they have called in hospice.

Serenitree · F

@akindheart I beat cancer at the age of 32. I'm 74 now, and been cancer free for 42 years. How long will I be so lucky? I don't know. But I do know that 42 years of borrowed time is a lot. Any longer and I'll have to consider it gifted to me.

I did change my lifestyle and eat healthier and stop smoking, so I did my part, but it's still a gift I don't scoff at. I've far outlived the five year survival rate.