I Can't Do This Anymore

I feel like I am right back to where I was a few years ago... hating myself, wanting to cut or burn myself and to drink it all away. Wanting to close back up and never let anyone in again. What's the point in trying to keep going? What's to stop me from disappearing? Leaving this world? No one cares, they are all gone. Once again, it's just me-ready to quit, ready to leave.