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I Give Relationship Advice But Am Terrible At Relationships

From a guy's perspective how would u feel if u were the guy in this position. Ur girlfriend gets pregnant despite using the pill. You dont want it but she does and told her you dont want a baby now. In a sense, she feels as if she putting you in a position you clearly dont want to be in. Watch gonna do...

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LeopoldBloom · M

I have been in this position. In college, I got my girlfriend pregnant despite using birth control. What I wanted was irrelevant. When she told me she was pregnant, I told her that I would support her in whatever she wanted to do. That's it. I didn't mention abortion because I didn't want to pressure her in any way. Fortunately she chose to abort, which I paid for since I was working and she wasn't. But if she'd said she wanted to keep the baby, I would have helped her raise it and probably would have married her.

Since the fetus is inside of the woman's body, the man should have no say in what happens to it. It is entirely up to the woman, and the man's job is to support her 100% in whatever she wants. If this is a problem for you, don't dip your wick because you lose control once your sperm cells leave your penis.

EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M

Honestly, I wouldn't want my GF on any BC, as I've wanted children for a long time. If my next GF/wife tells me that she's pregnant, it would be the happiest day of my life, so far. If she already had children when we met, I'd love them just as much as any we make together.

Sorry I didn't actually answer your question, but I can't imagine myself not wanting a child.

GJOFJ3 · 61-69, M

This is one of those areas where law hasn't kept pace with modern times. The father has no say if he wants the baby but she decides to terminate the pregnancy. How he also has no legal means of terminating fatherhood if he doesn't want the baby and she decides to keep it.

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LeopoldBloom · M

@GJOFJ3 You're confusing two completely different things - the woman's right to control her body, with parental financial obligations. If a woman has a baby and the father takes full custody, the mother will pay child support as the non-custodial parent, just as the father would in the opposite situation. The two genders are treated exactly the same in this area.

This isn't equivalent to a woman being able to choose whether to give birth or have an abortion. As long as the fetus is inside of her body, it should be 100% up to her what she does with it. The father should have no legal say either way. Once the kid is born, if that happens, the law can step in and enforce parental obligations on both parents.

By the same token, the man loses control of what happens to his sperm once it leaves his penis. Saying he should retain control just because his genetic material is inside of a woman would be like me saying that if I donate a kidney to a dialysis patient, I should be able to demand that they vote Democratic as long as my kidney is inside of them.

GJOFJ3 · 61-69, M

@LeopoldBloom I didn't say he should have control. I was pointing out the fact that he doesn't have any say either way.

LeopoldBloom · M

@GJOFJ3 He has a say when his sperm cells are inside of his body. The woman has a say when the fetus is inside of her body. Neither has a say after the kid is born.

Women don't have abortions because they don't want to pay child support. If that was the case, no woman would ever have an abortion; they'd all have the baby and give it up for adoption if they didn't want to raise it. The reason women have abortions is because they don't want to be pregnant. Since men can't get pregnant, there's no equivalent. Saying that men should be able to evade their parental obligations because women can have abortions is confusing two different things.

Peppa · 31-35, F

Women's perspective: if you can support yourself and the child single handed have it, if not don't. Why because it's a whole load of drama you don't need.

Mikemcneil · 61-69, M

Maybe he should have taken responsibility himself and used a condom?

hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M

Actions have consequences. Obviously the baby is the most important person. Let it live and find the best way to take care of it.

StevetheSleeve · 31-35, M

Accept responsibility and hope the relationship works out.

Hosking · 26-30, M

I see myself always wanting the baby

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