I need a perspective on my behavior from people who consider themselves deep.

So one of my classmates is in a life-or-death situation and I can't make myself emotionally involved in it, whatsoever. He was a nice guy but it's like I don't care and he could die any moment. I have donated some money because he doesn't have the best of financial conditions but that was something I did because it was the right thing to do and not something I did out of compassion.

Have you had a similar situation ? Did you realize the cause ? And remedy, if required ?
I kind of know the answer but still want to see what you guys think.

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VeronicaPrincess · 61-69

You don't need an emotional attachment to show compassion - your donation to his cause, "because it was the right thing too do", was an act of kindness - and that comes pretty close to compassion.

SW-User

Sometimes that distance is a defence mechanism and you really care more than you realize.

MasterofNone · 26-30, M

@SW-User Logically, it makes sense but I can't seem to believe if what you are saying is true though something like what you are describing has happened in past.

HootyTheNightOwl

@MasterofNone Yes, he's talking sense - I go through the same thing as he describes and not because I don't care... it is because I am too emotionally involved and I am hurting too much.

AntisocialTroll · 56-60, F

Unless it's a good friend there would be no real reason for you to feel emotionally involved, not meaning to be callous but that's the reality, if you got emotionally involved every time someone who is just an acquaintance is dying you'd be emotionally exhausted.

If it's a proper friend then it's likely a defence mechanism as has already been said.

HootyTheNightOwl

Even if you were emotionally involved... what would it do to change his situation???

Don't force yourself to be involved in something that you aren't feeling.

MasterofNone · 26-30, M

@HootyTheNightOwl Probably good advice.

eMortal · M

I don't consider myself deep enough. In my humble opinion your emotional intelligence is more reliable than your feelings. You acting because it's the right thing to do gives you a broader scope of intervention than following your feelings. I mean if you had to rely on your feelings you wouldn't have done a thing. You should enrol and serve in the military. Great sense of duty.

Ingwe · F

we may have compassion but we'd rather pay for someone's problems to stay as far away from us as possible
that is why we give money... to feel good on the inside
we care... but over there
we control the impact something will have on on us
you monitor yourself and you dissociate yourself
why?

dale74 · M

You don't have an attachment to him but feel sorry for his family think about how his parents brothers and sisters children friends are going through because they are losing someone important to them

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