I start talking loudly about how my eggs are getting old

I talk a lot.

when you are suddenly surrounded by attractive people

I smile a lot.

cant recite the phonetic alphabet backwards

"I...HIC..D D DON'T...HIC....REMEM....REMEMBER...HIC...!"

the cops don't agree

I fall asleep.

I sway

Yep...that is the exact reason I gave up alcohol over 30 years ago...too many nights in the drunk tank, too many times in front of the judge, too many fines paid...

The room starts to spin round as I lay on my back looking up at the ceiling & fearing that I will fall off of the floor!

I don't have any. I have a three glass limit and I stick with it

I start thinking I love everyone. I really don't.

You puke.

1) Communication consists of screaming.
2) Falls asleep face first in my mashed potatoes.
3) Partially or fully nude.

All three would qualify.

Ill have to look at some videos and find out because I don't know.

My clothes start falling off !

I like the spitbac reply

I get punchy and start teasing the people around me.

When I have to try line up a shot to pee

Did you ever notice you always get religion when you get shitfaced and you are worshipping at the porcelain altar...you know...OH GAWD Im sick...OH Gawd,,,make it stop etc etc etc..