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Which is worse? "A" lying about "B" in the public forum, or "B" publicly publishing private messages to clear their name of "A's" lies?

"A" , the liar is worse. They asked for it.
"B" , the defendant is worse. It's a breach of confidentiality.
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[u]Hypothetical[/u] example: Married woman "A" pursues but is rejected by single man "B". Popular scorned woman tells lies in public forum to save her shattered ego, but man has private messages to prove woman is a needy, insecure, obsessed nutcase. Is it a breach of confidentiality if the man defends himself?
LadyBronte · 56-60, F Best Comment
This a terrible situation to be in. While someone might feel the need to post a story, question or comment when they are hurting - no one should ever name names or hatefully out another. There is no good answer to your dilemma. So do the best you can, don't do anything to cause yourself to feel bad later on, and remember...the people who know you, already know what kind of decent person you are.
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
[@9537,LadyBronte] Thanks for BA. Good luck.
RogueLoner · M
[@9537,LadyBronte] YW. No luck necessary. It was a hypothetical. 😁 Could happen to anyone.
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
[@609293,RogueLoner] Glad to hear it! could easily happen.

Turtlepower · 31-35, M
This is tough. I'm my opinion the man can defend himself, reference the private messages in said defense, but doesn't need to go out of his way to post them. At that point, it's just stooping down to her level.
This message was deleted by its author.
RogueLoner · M
[@565666,Turtlepower] I agree. Both A & B know that "A" is lying. "B" just proves themselves a better person. "A" has to live with themselves.
Magenta · F
Hmm that's a hard one.

I am almost never for the breach of confidentiality aka sharing private convos. Yet on the other hand I also despise defamation.

He could defend himself without revealing the convos, yes?
RogueLoner · M
[@1173,Magenta] I suppose he [i]could[/i], but nobody would believe him because the woman is popular and has everyone fooled.
Magenta · F
[@609293,RogueLoner] Maybe the masses. That's not how I roll. I'm not a band wagon jumper.
RogueLoner · M
[@1173,Magenta] He said/she said..."she" usually wins on the internet. The PROOF is in the messages and emails. 😉 Personally, if it were me, I would not break confidentiality.
Piper · 61-69, F
Based on the [u]hypothetical[/u] details presented, what Turtlepower said expresses my own thoughts better than I probably could have.

Telling lies about someone is absolutely contemptable, [i]always[/i]. Doing so in a public forum, sure does put one in the position of wanting to defend themselves, and I know I would want to.
The thing is though, "B" could only [b]prove[/b] what is claimed about "A" in this scenario, by posting ALL private messages between both parties.
There's 3 sides to the story; his, hers and the truth. He could choose whatever bits & pieces he wants to make her [b]appear[/b] batshit crazy, it doesn't mean she is. Hell, he could've been the one to drive her crazy if so and chances are he's likely married himself, but withholding his own secrets.
RogueLoner · M
[@1137766,MoonlightLullaby] This has nothing to do with gender. I gave a hypothetical example. The question is, which is worse ... the liar spouting off (he or she), or the person (she or he) who breaks private confidence to counter the lies?
[@609293,RogueLoner] Hard to say. Perhaps person #1 never was a liar to begin with and wanted to protect others from getting hurt because person #2 is a player or liar themselves.🤔
RogueLoner · M
[@1137766,MoonlightLullaby] That's why #2 would post the PM's and emails. To prove that #1 was lying. That's the point. Which is more unethical? Lying,,, or rebutting with messages that will provide undeniable proof.
I say #2 would be more unethical by posting messages said in confidence. The liar will have to live with themselves.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
When people spread lies about other people it may tarnish their reputation forever. I think that alone is worse. I really don’t blame the man for trying to defend himself in that case.
They both despicable.
A is childish immature tryin to make themselves look better
B is lowest of the low if revealing private Dm's
Unlearn · 36-40, M
C - Reading this post and thinking of a response...

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