I Am a Waitress

Well I don't much like waitressing and I want to have children. Also I am happy he decides and as a wife I think I need time to learn to look after him and our home

ANY restaurant job is tough! I had the most thankless job known in restaurant work. I scrubbed pots and pans every night for 6 hours WITHOUT a break. It is a "behind the scenes" job so no one even things about you or the dish washer either.
SERVERS have i tough financially since they make a LOW wage and have to claim all the charged tips and much of their cash tips (depending upon the state).
This particular Italian restaurant was the favorite of many fanciers of Italian food, even more than Olive Garden so our 68 seat were filled every night. Fridays and Saturdays were killers with an active paging system!

That's cool :)

It's a nice bell and a nice gesture. But where's the engagement ring?

It's being made

Yea.. so still sounding judgemental. As someone who is in kink too, and with well over a decade of experience with people in it, enjoying kink is not a mental illness, participating in that is not grounds for saying they can't think for themselves, subs/bottoms are by no means weak or helpless, and all us have pasts. Its not fair to say that if this how it ends up being expressed (rather than by becoming overly athletic, business / power driven, military, art, etc) this is the 'bad' expression. I've seen plenty of people in it who had great childhoods enjoy kink, plenty who had rough pasts heal through kink.. meh

What you are not seeing is how vulnerable she is and relaint on being abused. That is her life and she knows no other by the sound sof it, because she knows no different.
This was not her choice but her fathers socalled punishments. Spanking is one thing. Read this and if it is true it started as spanking and then the father started extending his punishments sexually.
Anyone can have a choice and I ma the first to say that is their choice.
What I am saying anyou are failing to admit is that this girls spanking lead to abuse and she has never had a choice and expects it as normal
I am talking about the facts and not being jusgemental. If I am judgemental you certainly are the same as me then because in your judgement, it us quite all right for somebody to be abused as they know no different way of life.

Not quite on the judgemental, I'm not saying in any way that abuse is ok. Not at all. I'm saying that the two of us, who don't know each other, are talking about a third person whom we've never met. And based on a few comments you appear to be drawing the conclusion that her enjoying spankings now means she's reliant on abuse and can't think for herself. I'm saying I have absolutely no idea as to her mental state and will not speculate on it.

I've had friends (far too many of them) who've been molested as kids, beaten, two tortured, several raped and cut up. (Not keeping tabs, I just seem to end up in interesting crowds). And I have (thankfully) plenty of friends who have not had that happen to them. No, I absolutely do not condonenon-conscentual abuse on anyone, of any age, of any gender. Ever. I've also seen the people who have been through it come out as fully capable adults, strong, able to make their own decisions, and I provide them with respect by not second guessing all their actions through the filter of victims. And some do enjoy kink, and some don't. Some like to be on top, some on bottom. Some are using it to work through what happened to them by experiencing it in their own terms instead of those imposed on them, some do it because it feels good, some are exploring themselves, some happened to end up with partners that had that kink and they pursued it. And I know just as many in the non-abused category who enjoy the exact same things.

I'm not saying there are not some unhealthy people pursuing kink, of course there are. People who have been through trauma reclaim themselves in many ways - joining the police, becoming therapists, working out, overeating, etc. I'm saying we cannot assume anything someone does is bad / they are incapable of choosing for themselves just because somewhere in their life they had a choice removed.

And really, being a house wife to someone she loves, a mother, and enjoying lite spankings is the end-all symptom? That's what there is to worry about? Sorry, that's not even on my radar of self-harming actions, and I can point to a slew of housewives and mothers who would picket anyone saying their choice was not legitimate.

In summary? I have no clue as to her motivations (neither does anyone online, and even in person I would not accept the diagnosis of anyone who is not a therapist), her choice is not bad (even if it is not what I would choose), power exchange is a lot more complex then on law and order when practiced 'correctly' (serving to protect everyone involved), and I'm not saying her choice is right or wrong - only that it's entirely her choice (even if the choice is to surrender choice - something everyone does to the same extent when they join the military, and we don't blame them - and their risks are Far more dangerous and hard to opt out of later).

We talked about it. He told me he expected it and I said ok

Got it. If it is something you're wanting as well, and you enjoy having a partner make the decisions, then you do you! Congrats on the upcoming wedding :). (just be sure to use the time at home to also quietly keep training your own skills, never know when something may happen and he may need you to suddenly step up and support him or your kids)

Yes I want him to make the decisions