I Dont Believe In Monogamy

I wouldn't eliminate the possibility of it working. But i think for the vast majority of people it simply doesn't work.

Probably. But--at least, in my view--they are excessively delusional creatures. They dont make choices on a conscious level. They delude themselves into thinking various ways. Actually, this is the way the frontal lobe works with virtually everyone. Much more a lot of religious folks, imo. The conscious mind's primary goal is to rationalize instincts. "I shouldn't have this slice of cake, or ill get fat. Welllll, I can just work it off tomorrow." [Neurologist Steven Novella] In this way, i think--and I realize most do not agree, also in scientific fields--that whatever choice we have is either non-existent or very minimal.

Yes. You could just sit on the side of the street and die, but you dont, because both mind and instinct agree that would be a bad thing. It's, in effect, no choice, at all. With something like, "if i leave, I become very uncomfortable," it's instinctually opposed to the rational idea of "I'd be better off eventually." Which serves as a much harder choice to make, sparking cognitive dissonace. Leading to, effectively no choice at all. Particularly with my mother, someone who simply could not survive on her own.

Maybe my dad could make the choice to leave, but it would also go against his moral code, which serves as another trapping mechanism.

There are choices that people are forced into, I think, effectively leaving no choice, at all, because the choice is so obvious. Like, "I shoot you in the face or you pick a pen up." You could choose to get shot. But, instinct and mind agree that there is, in effect, no choice.

@LittleEvilOne :/ Life sucks sometimes.

I dropped out after 9th grade, too.

Have you thought about going back to school? There are tons of older people at the local community college. Granted, mostly 18 year olds, but there's never any shame in education. Worst case scenario, you learn a bunch of stuff.

@LittleEvilOne There you go. You could, with just a bit of effort. ^_^ There's a bunch of grants for mothers, i believe; or, at least were during the Obama administration. I need to go back, too.

@swandfriends I didn't think of it like that. Interesting. That's probably right on point. He is the rock; mom is the ocean. They've also pretty much never been single. Moms was 19 when she got married to him; he was 28, but was in a rock band, so, basically nonstop women. Neither of them have really ever been single.

Why do you think that would be important? Self-mastery?

Oh yeah people that have never experienced being completely single might start to re-evaluate who they are inside and what they really want to do in life after becoming single. They may realize that they were being held back in some way. Whether their sense of humor, sense of adventure.. they might end up running across someone later in life that they realize they are way more compatible with. People change after about 25-30 something years of age

@Selfexpression I certainly couldn't be monogamous if there was a chance of also being with you!

@MightySizeQueen On second thought, I'm not sure how I feel about having any degree of awareness about my parent's sex life. >_>

But, they're actually doing very well, now, ironically. Dad started giving mom little love notes and buying her stuff, and mom has been less crazy, more loving and appreciative. They only scream at each other around once a month, now, lmao.

@SW-User Heh. Thank ya. I've adjusted my perception a bit since then. I was very anti-marriage at that point. Now I'm less antagonistic towards monogamy and actually view it as pretty necessary.

Being happy definitely has a price. That said, I think if someone bases their relationship only on a connection, it's bound for failure or unhappiness. Feelings are impulsive and mercurial. Important. But not reliable when you're talking about a lifelong dedication, imo.

Definitely down with simple living, though!

Thank you. :) I appreciate that a lot. I don't get it, very often. I try. ^^

I did change my name. Got a bit tired of people going, "Cold fits." :P

Alas, life is change.

@Fungirlmmm Hmm. Accidentally turned off notifications. Mom went especially batty last month and said she was getting a divorce, bailed to my aunts house for around 7 hours, then called and asked to come back to my dad. I wouldn't call it "happy", but they're still together. My mom doesn't have anywhere else to go. More like two countries having a trade and ceasefire agreement.

@Specialyouare Thanks. ^-^

@CinnamonWorlds People in open relationships or wandering don't murder/suicide or steal half the other's shit. At least, not to the degree of monogamous folks. 😶

Big claim, but I'm pretty sure it's true. Monogamy is just unhealthy. So is being alone.

@Tatsumi I have known and experienced some pretty damned unhealthy open relationships too.

Getting back to your post, I am sorry about the state of your parents' marriage as you describe it so vividly!

I've got one. I just refuse to be chained down.