Should being a parent really be this hard

When you were only a child yourself looking down into the innocent eyes of the life you created you realize it's not you anymore it's your babies future. You give up everything to be the best mom you can be. When your husband says he doesn't want to be a father or husband you can't break down because you have to be the rock for your children. You work to be mom and dad. You give up everything for them. The nights I went hungry to make sure my kids always had enough. To push your child to be the very best. Only to one day have your child hate you. Do I understand why? No, I put my oldest through high school put every penny into her sports and future. Not with a dime of help from her and her sisters father. I sent the Christmas and birthday gifts "from dad" because all I wanted to do was protect there sweet little hearts. I sold one of my first motorcycle to my buy oldest her very first car to how proud I was of her. And all of this for what? I pay the bills give her a nice home work my ass off I pushed her to work so she can have nice things for herself and all she can say is I am the worst mom because I ask for help around our home. Today is hard for me. Because today I opened the door and asked my child to leave. She fails to see the struggle of being a parent a single one at that. My heart is broken and It sucks. If you have a mom love her! Don't be selfish and ungrateful especially if she did it all alone. :(

plungesponge · 41-45, M Best Comment

If it helps, having a child who "hates you" is probably a fundamentally prescripted event, maybe just as much as loving your child. It may be nothing you did, and may just be a phase unless there are major screwups in communication on either side.

Imagine this, a family that raises it's children with no major dramas, just happy happy people. The child grows up content, without angst or anger, and feels no pressing need to leave home, develop, go forth or procreate.

Contrast this with most families: Turmoil, grief, "I can't take this shit anymore!". Kids and parents driving each other crazy, making the home unbearable. What happens next? Kid leaves the nest, are forced to learn how to survive out there, meets new people and starts families.

One of these strategies is adept at spreading itself across the globe, while the other is too comfortable to thrive. Teen/parent drama is so commonplace I'm convinced it's an evolutionary prescripted event.

plungesponge · 41-45, M

Hang in there. Just try not to say anything that can't be unsaid, listen to their nonsense but try to understand they can't help themselves, and wait it out. The pendulum swings both ways eventually.

loykhtn · 61-69, M

Very logical @plungesponge, and also, it means no one's to blame, it's not so personal, we're just following our evolutionary programs.