How do I find one person in life who cares whether I am dead or alive?

Thanks for the kind words. I have tried that approach as well. Self-honoring always ended up in self loathing somehow, I got caught in a vicious circle. Self-love also caused high-headedness which, again in no time, brought me back to ground-zero.

Don't give up on yourself. Consider each day that you are on a journey of self discovery; some of that IS going to be painful, but some of it should make you feel joyous. It's not easy to love ourselves when we are used to feeling at the bottom. But you can do it.

Thanks. I have accepted it now and have learned to live life in this manner. It is only a small part of me that wants to break free of the shackles, and that is what keeps bothering me in what is an otherwise comfortable way of life for me. I think I have hopelessly fallen in love with my shackles.

Thanks for the advice. I feel I am damaged beyond repair :)

A lot of us are damaged in one way or another sweetheart but you have to look inside yourself and decide whether you're going to stay where you are or take charge of your own life and start living it..I truly believe we need to be at peace with ourselves first..that opens us up to let others in..

Thanks for the advice. I don't think I will be able to have emotions towards the pet. I know that it will love me unconditionally, so I am scared that I won't be reciprocating the love that I receive, which would be unfair.