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No one really knows what they are doing. Do what you think is right, the results will tell you if you were wrong or not.

GeniUs · 56-60, M
You're honest.
There are few really good parents but you wouldn't believe it if you look on Facebook (and other social media), people I know whose standards fall far below my own average standards patting each other on the back about how great their parenting skills are.
And you probably are a very good parent.
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daveal · 56-60, M
I think you hit the most important point with the name of this group. If we as parents are truly honest, then we will all be painfully aware of our short comings. We do the best we can with the information we have at the time.

We also fall into the trap of being selfish at times. Honestly recognizing the difference between poor parenting at the time and poor parenting in retrospect is very important. There is no reason to beat yourself up when you did the very best you could. If you're able to recognize could have done better and use that to be a better parent and person, then I'd say you are doing a fantastic job and setting a good example.
Ritesh · M
You want to be a nice mum that itself makes you a nice mum! That's true you can't make everyone happy at the same time. You have to choose between available options!
MartinII · 70-79, M
I can't speak from personal experience. But if you ask the kind of questions that you do in your post, I think you are probably an excellent mum.
Speedyman · 70-79, M
Parenting is a huge learning curve all the way and when you finish your apprenticeship you retire!
Mastermadman · 61-69, M
Too hard on yourself. I have a child with special needs. Second guessing is a way of life
Mastermadman · 61-69, M
Truely. Hes 16 this year. And i didnt kill him.... Not too bad in my book
GeniUs · 56-60, M
@Mastermadman My missus (social carer) sometimes helps a special needs man who has been looked after all his life by his parents, he's 45. She goes in for an hour and it's one of the hardest jobs she has to do. There are no words to express the strength of love and parenting skills involved in situations like this.
Mastermadman · 61-69, M
Yes i see that thinking and thankyou. Hes a junior in high school this year. The actual point is the wondering if youre doing right by all involved. You do the best you can and move forward.
interestedinmore · 51-55, M
I think everyone has moments of self doubt. But those moments seem to feel more important when you are a parent because you realize that you are responsible for someone's life and well being. It is hard to comprehend what can be done in simple actions sometimes with the effects only appearing years later. So in a long answer... yes we all have doubts and I don't think anyone feels like they are a great parent all the time.
walabby · M
Don't know about great but I think that I've been adequate. My philosophy is to treat my kids like people. Explain why they are being punished, praise them for doing well, apologize when I make a mistake.
They all still seem to like me and the youngest is 21... :)
NewBecky · 51-55, F
@walabby I apologize when I make a mistake but it does not seem to matter... My children will keep a record of all wrongs...

Mum talks too much...
She does not talk enough...
She is in my business...
She does not care about me...
She does not let me eat anything yummy...
Let my hair grow longer...
When will you ever cut me hair?...
I'm stupid...
Do we have to study MORE???
walabby · M
@NewBecky Hey, pull rank. You're the boss here. Do what feels right to you. You do own your own conscience...
...
daveal · 56-60, M
@NewBecky Children need to show respect to their parents. That is non-negotiable. If they are disrespectful, then that must be addressed first, way before the issue that they are so worried about is dealt with.

People complain, the more immature a person is, the more they complain. By definition, children are immature people. Don't let their complaining dictate what you know to be true about yourself.
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Ccrider63 · 70-79, M
All kids raised and I guess the only thing that matters in the end is that they all well adjusted adults, doing splendid on their own and have empathy and respect for orhers.
You can never keep all f your children happy at the same time. There is always jealousy as well as sibling rivalry. You sound as if you are a very good mum indeed. All that you and Jon can do is instill upon them your own values. And then hope that they learn the lessons that both you and Jon have tried to teach them. ☺☮
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SW-User
Nobody is perfect, just try to do your best.
ticklerguy · M
Just do your best and things will work out
Galanr40 · 61-69, M
How old are your kids?
MenzernaSF4000 · 36-40, M
Even though I am not a parent, but I think expecting kids to appreciate what parents do for them is expecting monkeys to fly the airplane. :) cheer up :)

 
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