[media=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVzn1pl4nlo]

It would wake me up using the voice of my ex-husband. 😐️

Every random thing you don't want it to!

turns the lights on in my face

Drops stinging insects in the ear.

speak in the disembodied voice of my mother

Its nickname behind closed doors was the "Butthole Tickler 9000". 😱

Leans in and calls you nasty names

It triggers the release of a giant hand covered in shaving cream to slap you in the face...and then starts playing this make it stooooooop song [media=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J753uaiOCCg]

It punches you in the genitals to wake you up.

Get up stupid! Followed by an airhorn

It buzzes raucously and screams

“Get the fuck up, or you’ll be unemployed, loser!!!”

😳