I know these thoughts and feelings. I am learning that it’s okay to do the things I enjoy without him and to not feel guilty about it. Do I want him to be a part of my enjoyments? Absolutely. But they are not things he enjoys. I would rather do the things by myself than worry because he is only doing it to appease me.

When your hubs asks where you’re going…tell him. Odds are he will say, “Okay”.

There is nothing wrong with giving yourself permission to be your individual self even when you have a partner.

A side note:
I’m saying these words to myself too. It’s a challenging mindset.

Speak up about it.

My ex was the same and although I understand forms of dissociation (of which SW is one) it felt so overwhelming and loud and constant I ended up fantasising about smashing up the TV because it was like a lover who was always in the way. I guess for you it’s learning to let go of the guilt of having to sit there to be with him.

Just get up and go and if he asks say you're meeting your boyfriends in Bali.

But do they have ESPN in Bali? They might get bored.

Bali Bigfoot?

That sounds like me describing my wife.
Walks the dog and watches lots of TV while I'm doing some sort of activity, building, cleaning, repairing, creating, walking or meeting new people at a bar.
Yrs, I'm married to a fuddy duddy