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Mass internet outrage as Emperor Palpatine loses his Twitter priviledges

Ruler of the galactic empire, lord of the dark side, and virtuous free-speech champion; Emperor Palpatine was left in shock today and he found his Twitter account permanently banned. "The First Amendment is under assault!" he hissed. "Just because I ordered the Death Star to blow up that planet and massacre 3 billion people, does not mean that my speech should be restricted. If people got down that road, it could end up creating a dictatorship where nobody has any rights!"

When it was pointed out to the haggard albino overlord that he was in fact, the actual ruler of a vast and brutal dictatorship, Palpatine merely said that our publication was fake news. He then issued us with a cease a desist letter and told his followers that he was going to put our entire editorial team in jail.

Enraged by the injustice of the Twitter restriction, Palpatine's followers took to the internet. Middle-class and middle-aged white Conservative American men (well known to be the most oppressed group in the history of the universe) manned up to share their heartfelt grievances. "I never said that Wooki lives don't matter," opined Budjack, a staunch Palpatine supporter. "It's just that my life matters too and all these people saying that Wooki lives matter are clearly being racist! Just because I called them big hairy ape monsters on my other profile does not mean I should have to be responsible for my views."

"Political correctness has gone too far," bawled another member of the intellectual dark side web. "An ordinary white man like Palpatine can't even commit giga-genocide without these social justice NAZIs mildly criticising him a bit and stopping him from using a website! None of these idiots have even read the First Amendment," he said.

Later on, a surprising survey emerged which showed that 66% of Palpatine supporters now blame Ewoktifa for the destruction of the planet Alderaan, in spite of there being no evidence of this and in spite of them all supporting the annihilation of the said planet when the story first broke.


[i]A picture of Palpatine, putting a brave face on this latest injustice.[/i]
Asificair · M
He'll be president one day, Dark Lady Sith Marjorie Taylor Greene at his side. 🙄
Asificair · M
[@324882,gurlwatcher22] I'm all out of fks 🤷‍♂️ to give one 😕
gurlwatcher22 · 61-69, M
[@854658,SamtheDog] I'm hip!😎
spjennifer · 56-60, T
[@854658,SamtheDog] That's just too scary to contemplate, if she is the future of the Republican party, we are all in for one bumpy ride!
JeanAnna · F
Good one. He's whining and his staunch supporters, BudJack, just blocked me. lol lol
Burnley123 · 36-40, M
[@891327,JeanAnna] No idea who you mean. 😇
JeanAnna · F
[@422868,Burnley123] hahaha
[b]Brilliant.[/b] 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Burnley123 · 36-40, M
[@328496,bijouxbroussard] Thank you. 😇
spjennifer · 56-60, T
Awesome parody of what's really happening! Excepting you should have called him Paltateenypeen!
Burnley123 · 36-40, M
[@605026,spjennifer] I would love to be a writer for The Onion. 😇
spjennifer · 56-60, T
[@422868,Burnley123] I think you'd do very well at it, though I kind of doubt you'd get much support from the fixated trumplodites!
SW User
I don't know if this is fake news or a parody of Trump.
Burnley123 · 36-40, M
[@1183899,Nightly] LOL, It's definitely a parody.
whowasthatmaskedman · 61-69, M
[@422868,Burnley123] You really are wasting your time. Trump Parodies himself better than anyone could.😷
Burnley123 · 36-40, M
[@621893,whowasthatmaskedman] Trump gets a lot of support and some from non-crazy people. I think satire is more powerful than polemic sometimes.
windinhishair · 61-69, M
Brilliant, Burnley. Just brilliant.
Carla · 61-69, F
That was entirely too fun a read🙂
crashing · 31-35, F
Such a handsome man
ChampagneOnIce · 46-50, F
Spot on
Burnley123 · 36-40, M
[@327203,ChampagneOnIce] Cheers!
SteakNchips · 51-55, M
Get a grip
Burnley123 · 36-40, M
[@967922,SteakNchips] It's a parody.
windinhishair · 61-69, M
[@422868,Burnley123] May the Force be with you.

 
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