Dear stranger, I don't know what to say. ..Maybe because I feel as though I can relate to how you feel... and because it feels terrible to me to know someone else has felt the same kind of pain.

For me, I never got to really say goodbye either... and I don't know if it makes it worse or better that I can't hate her for anything she ever said to me, because even when she left she was trying to make the best decision. She wasn't trying to hurt anyone... but I had never felt so much hurt when she left the way she did. And even though I loved her, it was saying goodbye (but not receiving one :/) forever to my very best friend that hurt the most. She just left like it never really mattered.

Your final goodbye reminded me of the one I wrote... so I'm going to post it in case you want to read it. Sometimes it feels better to know you're not alone so maybe it could help.
It's been 6 months for me so I can say it gets better... or at least the pain gets more numbed with other thoughts as time goes on. So I hope it also gets better for you soon. And they'll never say it and maybe because it couldn't change anything, but I'm sorry things worked out this way. If that could possibly mean anything at all. ...just, someone feels something from your story :/