MayorOfCrushtown · M
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
Hard to let go, but you have to, or it breeds resentment.
We never stop caring or loving them, but our role changes as they grow up.
Give advice, but don't make it sound like a command or ultimatum.
Encourage, but do not scold.
If this is met coldly, discuss what it is that bothers them about your approach.
It doesn't ever mean you have to change your opinions or walk on eggshells; it's just basic communication, which includes listening as well as talking.
I learned this the hard way and had, for a time, a very unhealthy relationship with my grown son.
We both admitted having some wrong approaches and assumptions.
This may not apply to you, of course.
We never stop caring or loving them, but our role changes as they grow up.
Give advice, but don't make it sound like a command or ultimatum.
Encourage, but do not scold.
If this is met coldly, discuss what it is that bothers them about your approach.
It doesn't ever mean you have to change your opinions or walk on eggshells; it's just basic communication, which includes listening as well as talking.
I learned this the hard way and had, for a time, a very unhealthy relationship with my grown son.
We both admitted having some wrong approaches and assumptions.
This may not apply to you, of course.
Sroonaka616 · 31-35, M
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
@Jamesy
Mother/son relationships can be difficult to navigate.
If moms can learn to treat their son as a grown man needing to make his own life decisions, and sons can accept that their mom cares about them and will sometimes err, I think it helps.
Sometimes, you have to give grace when the other person has difficulties changing from being a mom of a teenage boy to that of a full-grown man.
Of course, for you, it has been a long time, and the change should have occurred by now, but some of us are slow to change, and it brings frustration without us knowing it sometimes.
If you have a decent relationship with your mother, perhaps you could tell her you appreciate the concern, but you are fully grown and capable of making your own decisions.
Moms need gentle reminders sometimes that you are not our little boys anymore, and you know what? That is something we can be proud of.
Mother/son relationships can be difficult to navigate.
If moms can learn to treat their son as a grown man needing to make his own life decisions, and sons can accept that their mom cares about them and will sometimes err, I think it helps.
Sometimes, you have to give grace when the other person has difficulties changing from being a mom of a teenage boy to that of a full-grown man.
Of course, for you, it has been a long time, and the change should have occurred by now, but some of us are slow to change, and it brings frustration without us knowing it sometimes.
If you have a decent relationship with your mother, perhaps you could tell her you appreciate the concern, but you are fully grown and capable of making your own decisions.
Moms need gentle reminders sometimes that you are not our little boys anymore, and you know what? That is something we can be proud of.
Tumbleweed · F
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