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@Mellowgirl well, we are all different.
Being eloquent or blunt doesnt change the meaning of a concept expressed in either type of language.
If you cant get past my language to discern my meaning , and only see the language i choose, then we are at an impasse.
You see what you choose to see.🤷♀️
Being eloquent or blunt doesnt change the meaning of a concept expressed in either type of language.
If you cant get past my language to discern my meaning , and only see the language i choose, then we are at an impasse.
You see what you choose to see.🤷♀️
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Nunatak Well then her language shouldn't be frowned upon, "you people"...
@Mellowgirl i assumed you meant my language, as you used the terms 'this' and 'you', in your response.
bijouxbroussard · F
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@bijouxbroussard I was uncomfortable with how quickly things escalated.
I didn't include images before but have since updated it.
As I've said to others he could have preempted and told his son to sit somewhere else considering that she might want to sit close to her case but he didn't and chose to offer the seat when she had step back to approach the area.
I didn't include images before but have since updated it.
As I've said to others he could have preempted and told his son to sit somewhere else considering that she might want to sit close to her case but he didn't and chose to offer the seat when she had step back to approach the area.
Abstraction · 61-69, M
I don't think it's really a race related question, I think it's just a person with problems. When I hear someone imbalanced get into a rant I hear emotion, internal disturbance, not logic. If I was there I wouldn't have taken her reference to 'you people' any more seriously than I took her inference that the person was trying to crowd her.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Abstraction I added a photo to demonstrate the situation a little better and I hear what you are saying.
I made it clear it was a race post simply because of what was said.
As I mentioned to the others below, it wasn't clear she wanted to sit down because of the design of the bus being more like the second picture, but I personally wouldn't have sat in that first seat behind the barrier near there as a preempt.
Because the bus designs we are now used to are more like the first one with the black woman facing the wheelchair user, minus the barrier.
But as I said, I would assume his son chose the seat because when I looked back the son was sitting close to the window while dad was on the end.
I made it clear it was a race post simply because of what was said.
As I mentioned to the others below, it wasn't clear she wanted to sit down because of the design of the bus being more like the second picture, but I personally wouldn't have sat in that first seat behind the barrier near there as a preempt.
Because the bus designs we are now used to are more like the first one with the black woman facing the wheelchair user, minus the barrier.
But as I said, I would assume his son chose the seat because when I looked back the son was sitting close to the window while dad was on the end.
REMsleep · 41-45, F
It had nothing to do with race. The woman was rude for loudly speaking about other bus riders while on the phone.
The woman was entitled, angry, obnoxious and she meantioned his race as a shaming tactic but overall she had bad behavior but I don't see it as a race related issue.
The woman was entitled, angry, obnoxious and she meantioned his race as a shaming tactic but overall she had bad behavior but I don't see it as a race related issue.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@REMsleep thank you for your response. I hope when you see this you might read my response to others.
But yes I found it rather uncomfortable and unreasonable how quickly things escalated.
But yes I found it rather uncomfortable and unreasonable how quickly things escalated.
SoLeRiMix · 31-35, M
Initially, it was a misunderstanding. Later, the lady tried to be oversmart and that is not good at all. Matter could have been resolved peacefully, had both realised that it was nothing more than mere misunderstanding.
Certainly, the lady should not have acted the way she did.
Certainly, the lady should not have acted the way she did.
JimboSaturn · 51-55, M
Montanaman · M
@JimboSaturn ignorant people period. No matter the race or color of skin. It happens. How you handle it makes the difference. 😔🤗
JimboSaturn · 51-55, M
@Montanaman Yep ignorant people use what ever they can.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@JimboSaturn I hear what you're saying and I was really upset.
It wasn't obvious that she would have wanted those seats because of the design of the bus. Personally I wouldn't have sat where he chose to sit only because its close to the disabled area/pram area, and if I had of watched I would have seen it was in fact his son that sat down first and he followed.
As a dad I would have told him to move just because on regular buses the seats close to that area are labelled priority seats.
Especially knowing there were other seats available.
It could be seen as antagonistic since she had a suitcase even though she ended up standing furthest away from them in that area.
But also unnecessary for how it esculated.
It wasn't obvious that she would have wanted those seats because of the design of the bus. Personally I wouldn't have sat where he chose to sit only because its close to the disabled area/pram area, and if I had of watched I would have seen it was in fact his son that sat down first and he followed.
As a dad I would have told him to move just because on regular buses the seats close to that area are labelled priority seats.
Especially knowing there were other seats available.
It could be seen as antagonistic since she had a suitcase even though she ended up standing furthest away from them in that area.
But also unnecessary for how it esculated.
Sounds like she was got what she deserved . She started an argument and played the race card with her “…you people are so violent”. comment.
And if she set her case down in a seat designated for handicapped people,,she was inconsiderate in dumping her case where she did, and made an assumption the seats taken by the two males was for her. She should not have put her case where she did and if as you state, more seats, were open she should have taken one and there would have been no problem.
And the phrase, “you people” is found quite offensive by many African-Americans here in the states.
She turned something trivial
Into a race matter. Foolish.
And if she set her case down in a seat designated for handicapped people,,she was inconsiderate in dumping her case where she did, and made an assumption the seats taken by the two males was for her. She should not have put her case where she did and if as you state, more seats, were open she should have taken one and there would have been no problem.
And the phrase, “you people” is found quite offensive by many African-Americans here in the states.
She turned something trivial
Into a race matter. Foolish.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@soar2newhighs I don't think she got what she deserved.
Neither person deserves to be spoken to in that way.
You may disagree here. And say he was defending himself but the comment she made initially wasn't to him it was actually to whomever she was on the phone to so really he was being nosey and she was rude.
But you could view the situation from another perspective.
On regular buses the ones we're used to it's not uncommon for people to use that space when a wheelchair or mother with a pram isn't using it.
So people just stand, I even have been known to put my suitcase there, (noted I will stand) but the first row of seats are usually noted as priority seats.
Consequently you either don't sit there or move when someone less able needs the seat.
They got on after her so they saw her with the suitcase.
When the man saw his son choosing that seat he could have preempted to sit elsewhere. Simply because she may have wanted to be close to her case.
But that in itself is about having consideration for a woman carrying a potentially heavy case.
I agree the comments that followed were unnecessary. It bothered me also.
Because she said she didn't want the seat and it felt like both wanted to have the last word.
Neither person deserves to be spoken to in that way.
You may disagree here. And say he was defending himself but the comment she made initially wasn't to him it was actually to whomever she was on the phone to so really he was being nosey and she was rude.
But you could view the situation from another perspective.
On regular buses the ones we're used to it's not uncommon for people to use that space when a wheelchair or mother with a pram isn't using it.
So people just stand, I even have been known to put my suitcase there, (noted I will stand) but the first row of seats are usually noted as priority seats.
Consequently you either don't sit there or move when someone less able needs the seat.
They got on after her so they saw her with the suitcase.
When the man saw his son choosing that seat he could have preempted to sit elsewhere. Simply because she may have wanted to be close to her case.
But that in itself is about having consideration for a woman carrying a potentially heavy case.
I agree the comments that followed were unnecessary. It bothered me also.
Because she said she didn't want the seat and it felt like both wanted to have the last word.
Lilnonames · F
@uncalled4 yes I practice Tai Kwon doo been doing since 13 so I try to always avoid
Lilnonames · F
@uncalled4 never to late keeps u fit I practice on a canoe now I got great balance but never use it to prove anything just to defend myself. I got carried away one time when two girls tried to rob me I took her knife and stabbed he in the chest and then the other. I thought the one was gonna die. I must say they caught me off guard and had no time to think
Montanaman · M
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Montanaman I agree.. But more her than him or him than her...?
Montanaman · M
@Mellowgirl i would say her, based upon his apology and offer his seat to her.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Montanaman agreed...
I did t really understand her need to keep going on and on...
I did t really understand her need to keep going on and on...
ButterRobot · 51-55, M
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@ButterRobot tbh yhd style of bus wasn't like the other ones. Some have seats that face the wheelchair pram area.
So in the event mum or a carer is there you can sit close by. But this one is separated by a barrier.
And the seats are behind that. So it's actually set back.
I'll post images above
So in the event mum or a carer is there you can sit close by. But this one is separated by a barrier.
And the seats are behind that. So it's actually set back.
I'll post images above
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Threepio the whole situation bothered me tbh. As I said to others he could have preempted but he didn't and offered the seat even though she didn't ask him or speak directly to him.
I can imagine there might have been so eye gestures when she noticed him in the seat.
Followed by her comments to whomever she was on the phone to.
As I mentioned it made me uncomfortable just how quickly things escalated.
I can imagine there might have been so eye gestures when she noticed him in the seat.
Followed by her comments to whomever she was on the phone to.
As I mentioned it made me uncomfortable just how quickly things escalated.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@bijouxbroussard in situations like this, the Jamaican lady would be looking for allies but I wouldn't be able to join forces for what I would say was unreasonable behaviour.
If she wanted the seat when he offered, I'd have called his bluff if thats what she felt.
And gladly taken the seat too.
Sometimes people offer after a slight in the hope you decline so you look unreasonable.
If she wanted the seat when he offered, I'd have called his bluff if thats what she felt.
And gladly taken the seat too.
Sometimes people offer after a slight in the hope you decline so you look unreasonable.
Livingwell · 61-69, M
Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M
I think this is London and I hate London so of course this happened 😌
Justenjoyit · 56-60, M
Dont people just make you laugh, the lady who has the suitcase is probably travelling somewhere and maybe worried a bit of time factors, some people overeact in worried or stress situations so for me thats my prospective. I think after I had offered the seat up then she had persisted to be rude to me I would have then told her some truths about her behaviour.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Justenjoyit she could be worried yes. She could also be a little tired as it was a big suitcase.
Could he have avoided that seat without her needing to approach him? Yes...
Could she have taken the seat when he offered it, yes.
Did she need to go on about it? No.
Did she need to make that comment? No.
Did he even need to retaliate? No.
Could he have avoided that seat without her needing to approach him? Yes...
Could she have taken the seat when he offered it, yes.
Did she need to go on about it? No.
Did she need to make that comment? No.
Did he even need to retaliate? No.
Justenjoyit · 56-60, M
@Mellowgirl As I said dont people make you laugh, travelling on public transport everyone has a responsibility to try to behave as best they can.
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