I Am A Teen And Still Have A Babysitter

@Briandl The first day she babysat me my mom formally introduced us which was akward because I saw her many times at school.

Yes she did act like an adult. I was dreading that she was going to make fun of me for being so close to her age. She didn't do that at all. Surprisingly that made me feel worse in a way. Why? Well my mom said she was more mature than me. The fact thay she didn't laugh at me or even acknowledge our small age gap was proof that she was mature and had an adult not a child's mindset. As defensive as I was I knew my mom wad right this girl was mature.She was pretty aloof and didn't talk to me much...except to give me orders such as to go to bed. She was so adult like to me that after a few days I let go a lot of my resentment..the whole vibe with her was pretty much what I was used to all my life with babysitters so I stopped obsessing over her age.

Hey there. Thanks for your reply. Did you know your mom found a girl from your school to babysit you? You mentioned that the babysitter did not interact with you much. It sounds like she just took her job seriously and she was not going to joke with you about being in the same school or close in age.
Was your mom really nice to her the first day she came over to meet you? Was the babysitter more friendly to your mom but when she was babysitting you, she was quiet because she treated you like any other child that needs a babysitter.
I am sure your mom really liked the fact that she was all about babysitting you and not giving you free reign in the house while she was out. I am curious how long she babysat you? Hope to hear from you.

@Briandl Thanks for your interest. You have lot's of good questions. Yes my mom was nice to her the first day and everyday. She was always nice to my babysitters...as long as they did their job. One night (with a different sitter) my mom came home and caught me up past my bedtime. She was very angry with the sitter, yelled at her, made her cry and never used her again.

Yes she was more friendly to my mom than me. In fact she talked more to my mom in the 10 minutes or so they visited than the few hours she was with me. My mom was the same way, she turned on her charm for the babysitter and had a fun conversation..even her tone of voice changed. When she talked to me it was more bossy, critical and condescending.

I think there were a few reasons the babysitter was quiet with me. Yes I do think she thought of my as a child, not her peer. I have mentioned before that I looked younger than my age so it was easy to be in that role. Another reason I am guessing she was quiet is that on some level she had to think it was pathetic I was getting babysat by her. She didn't make fun of me but inside she had to be judgemental...so she had a stuck up attitude towards me.

Being quiet made her seem like more of an authority. I say that because there were no blurred lines. If she made more conversation with me it might have felt more like a friend coming over to hang out. When she did talk to me it was always an order...do your homework, do this chore, it's your bedtime etc.

Yes my mom was very pleased with her. It was very important to her that my freedom was restricted. She didn't want me going out with friends like other teenagers. She wanted me to do my homework, chores and go to bed on time. This babysitter was a rule enforcer and did her job well. She was my regular sitter for nearly a year, until she went away for college.

@Cleancut Hey there, thank you so much for your reply. It sounds like your mom certainly turned on the charm when your babysitter came over. She certainly wanted the babysitter to know that you we're to be treated just like a child even though you were close to her age.
Even though the babysitter may have thought that you were a little too old to be babysat, she still took the job and was more than happy to become your regular babysitter for almost a year. It seems like your mom hired her often if she was available. I am guessing as your babysitter she became more more comfortable in that role and then it was more like she was the boss, and you were the baby. She probably tested the waters the first couple of times she asked you to do something but when she realized you would follow every order, she probably got very comfortable in the babysitting role and treated you just like any other little boy that needed a babysitter. it sounds like the babysitter had no problem telling you to do a chore or to do your homework or to get ready for bed? that probably would have been the most embarrassing part when she announced that it was your bedtime.
Did the babysitter seem more comfortable as she continued to babysit you? It sounds like she had a really good relationship with your mom and they were on the same page when it came to babysitting you.

@Briandl The first few nights were kind of akward...at least for me. I was so self conscious about our small age gap. When sbe snapped out her first orders it stung me inside. To her credit all of that akwardness went away after awhile. I actually stopped obsessing about our ages because she was so much like the babysitters I had all my life. It felt the same to me so I easily fell into the role I knew so well.

Yes my mom had a great relationship with her. What my mom needed to see from a sitter is that she takes her job seriously. A strict sitter who enforces my mom's rules would win her over to the point where they would become friends. Whenever I saw that good relationship it made it clear to me that even if the babysitter was young she was on the level with my mom...at least when she was babysitting me.

@Cleancut Hey there, thanks so much for sharing your story here. I love hearing about your babysitter. It sounds like when your mom found your babysitter, she made it quite clear you were a child and needed to be treated exactly like any other "little boy". It sounds like your babysitter certainly did not care that you were in 10th grade and certainly did not treat you like a classmate. From how you described her she was a total authority figure over you. It sounds like she had no problems when it came to telling you to do chores or when your bedtime was approaching. That had to be a little bit embarrassing as a tenth grader to be told by a girl not much older than you that it's your bedtime?
When your babysitter came over to watch you, did your mom talk to her right in front of you? Did she just make you stand there like a little boy while she had an "adult conversation" with your babysitter? Did she ever remind you to "be good" for the babysitter? It sounded from how you described that your mom always liked to remind you just like you would any child to be good for the babysitter to make it clear that you are the child. Would your mom always go over things with your babysitter when she was watching you like chores and your bedtime or after a while, did the babysitter just know to put you to bed at a certain time? I am curious if you saw your mom getting ready to go out, would she ever just say to you that she was going out and your babysitter was on the way over? I am sure that was a little defeating because your mom probably knew at your age you wanted a little more freedom but instead she knew that your babysitter would keep a close eye on you and follow all of her rules. I hope to hear from you

@Briandl I complained to my mom at first that this babysitter was close to my age and even went to my same school. My mom got mad and yelled "do not question who I hire to babysit you". She didn't know I overheard the conversation but that night my mom was on the telephone talking to one of her girlfriends "my kid's new babysitter is his age, maybe a little older, but she is so much more mature than him, you know my kid is so immature he's like a little boy". So my mom really believed I was an immature little kid. It didn't seem like she was trying to rub it in about our ages, she genuinely believed it all made sense. Hearing that call it was a mix of embarrassment, defensiveness and acceptance. What I mean by acceptance is my mom sounded so confident that I was immature that it made me think that maybe I was afterall.

She would often have the adult conversation at the dining room table while I was in the living room. I could hear every word. Yes she often said be good...she was used to saying it for years. It was kind of a ritual. Sometimes she would say to the sitter "if my kid gives you any trouble let me know".

@Cleancut Thanks for the quick reply. Wow, your mom was really mad when you questioned her about your new babysitter. It sounds like your mom really did believe that you were not mature and just a little boy who still needed a babysitter. It sounds like she made that quite clear to you not to question her because you were not mature enough to have a discussion about a babysitter.
That had to be embarrassing as a sophomore hearing your mom on the phone with her girlfriend talking about your new babysitter. It sounds like she wanted to vent to someone and I am sure her friend told her that she was making the right decision and agreed that you should still have a babysitter. I can understand how that made you feel because it's hard to be a teenager and want independence but your mom is telling all her friends about how you still need a babysitter.
I can understand how you felt like a little boy because even if your mom brought her friends over, they probably all knew that your mom still hired a babysitter for you when she went out so it's hard to act like a teenager and do your own thing when your mom was more than happy to share that she "still needed a babysitter" for you.
You mentioned that your mom would always tell you to "be good" when she left. That had to be embarrassing hearing her talk to your babysitter before she left for the night. Luckily she did not tell your babysitter about your spankings. It was bad enough that she told your babysitter to "let her know if she has any problems" implying that mommy would take care of it of you misbehaved with the babysitter. As an older teenager, I certainly can imagine how that made you feel like a little boy knowing the babysitter would tell your mom if you misbehaved. Did your babysitter ever warn you that she would tell your mom if you didn't do something she asked?

@Cleancut Hey there, after reading your last reply it seems like your mom wanted to make a clear distinction between you and the babysitter. Even though you both were really close in age, your mom always seemed to drive the point home that you were just a child and you needed a babysitter. That had to be a little frustrating as an older teenager trying to get your point across only to be shut down and told the you were not to question who your mom picked as your babysitter. I can imagine that was a little defeating hearing that and knowing your new babysitter was coming over regardless of what you thought.
Since your mom considered you a immature little boy, it was probably very easy for her to relate that to the babysitter. It seems like a babysitter she hired for you was just the same as her. She was not there to be your friend, she was there to watch you. I am sure your mom probably noticed the babysitters interaction with you a little bit before she left. Obviously she really liked her because she did not come over and just act like your friend from school, she came over and was there to babysit. it sounds like when she came over and was friendly and talk to your mom, the thought did not even cross her mind to include you in the conversation because you are just a child. You need to go play WoW they talked and had "adult" conversations.