how to get away with murder? Asking for a friend

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Wraithorn · 51-55, M

Firstly your friend should not be speaking about it to anyone, not even you. If the police questioned you then you would not be able to keep an innocent face.

NorthernRoses · 26-30, F

@paglolOptimist22: First off, where you live. Do you live somewhere close to the sea? If so, are there sharks or other more carnivorous fishes in the area? In that case, you could drain and cut up the body and use the meaty bits to churn the water for fish and sharks. You'd just look like some guy fishing for sharks and stuff. If you don't live anywhere where that is a good option and you HAVE to bury it, you should drain the body and bury it vertically, NOT horizontally. Satellites look for holes approx. 5 feet wide, as that is super suspicious. Ultimately though, burying the body is not a good option. I've heard that a septic tank can be used, but I don't know anything about that.

Secondly, who is the victim? Most murder victims are somehow related to the murderer. If it's just some random person who was at the wrong place at the wrong time with no witnesses, it's easier to get away with. As far as I've understood, they'll first question family and friends. Just make sure you have a different alibi, but not too different, in case someone saw you in the area.
If it is someone related to you? You better be good at bullshitting/acting.
Pull out all teeth and cut off toes, fingers, and ears, as these are all things that can make a body easier to identify.

You got witnesses? Tough luck. You're not getting out of that unless you're the luckiest man alive. One option would be killing the witnesses, but that would give you more bodies to dispose of, maybe even MORE witnesses, and one deep mess to get out of. Mass murderers rarely get away. You could also threaten or even blackmail them if you know who they are, but that is unreliable af. No threat or blackmail will be good enough. They'll squeal sooner or later.

There are tons of other things - after all, it all depends on the circumstances, and circumstances may vary a lot - but this is what I could think of, at least.

SW-User

1 Don't kill people with wintesses around, 2 don't leave the body somewhere the police will find it like your house, 3 don't brag on social media 'i killed a guy' people will rat you out. There's some pointers that will help get you started.