Wylder187 · 41-45, M
In the long run I think staying with someone for the wrong reasons does more harm than good
SW-User
I don’t know the best answer, but here’s my two cents.
That disloyalty is just going to grow and you’re going to become increasingly unhappy in your relationship, which will probably impact the kind of role model you‘ll be for your kid. You don’t want to set the expectation that this is what a healthy relationship looks like. So to a degree, you have to prioritise your own happiness in order to be the best role model/provider for your kid.
I think you can still be visibly amicable with the mother, and still be a great father, whilst also being separated.
I imagine your kid growing up and being told “oh your mother and me haven’t loved each other for years” - it might skew their perception of you forever. They don’t know if you’ve ever really been happy, and they don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like now.
I could be wrong; this is just how I feel instinctively.
That disloyalty is just going to grow and you’re going to become increasingly unhappy in your relationship, which will probably impact the kind of role model you‘ll be for your kid. You don’t want to set the expectation that this is what a healthy relationship looks like. So to a degree, you have to prioritise your own happiness in order to be the best role model/provider for your kid.
I think you can still be visibly amicable with the mother, and still be a great father, whilst also being separated.
I imagine your kid growing up and being told “oh your mother and me haven’t loved each other for years” - it might skew their perception of you forever. They don’t know if you’ve ever really been happy, and they don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like now.
I could be wrong; this is just how I feel instinctively.
Eternity · 26-30, M
As a child who has a parent who tolerated infidelity for "our sake"...don't.
Show your children what it is to honor yourself.
Be present in every way you possibly can, and when they have questions, answer them in a way that is honest, but without vilifying your other.
Going this route will show them what strength and dignity is. And that is an important lesson.
You don't want to model a suffering messiah complex. It either makes them into that, or makes part of them disgusted with you. Disgusted with the both of you.
Believe me I know
Show your children what it is to honor yourself.
Be present in every way you possibly can, and when they have questions, answer them in a way that is honest, but without vilifying your other.
Going this route will show them what strength and dignity is. And that is an important lesson.
You don't want to model a suffering messiah complex. It either makes them into that, or makes part of them disgusted with you. Disgusted with the both of you.
Believe me I know
Endure disloyal behaviour so that your child can grow up in a two parent family... and learn that healthy relationships don't have healthy boundaries??? 🤔🤔🤔
hippyjoe1955 · 70-79, M
What do you mean by 'disloyal behavior'?