"Perfect love casts out fear" (1 John)

It will never be our love of God that is perfect. God's love is perfect. Reality-as-is. The Source of All.

This is known, East.....

My eyes being hindered by blind passions,
I cannot perceive the light that grasps me;
Yet the great compassion, without tiring,
Illumines me always
. (Shinran)

....and West:-

If there be anywhere on earth a lover of God who is always kept safe, I know nothing of it, for it was not shown to me. But this was shown: that in falling and rising again we are always kept in that same precious love. (Julian of Norwich)

The path to realisation of this perfect love can be rocky. We are all individuals. You are young. There is no one path to God. You are the path.

All the best.