How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?They don’t. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
“Failure of second-order thinking”He tells you a secret and somehow expects you to keep it, when he just gave you evidence that he can’t keep it himself
Whenever in any argument, when someone says, “I hate you, but I agree with you.”Always translate it as, “I hate you BECAUSE i agree with you.”
My husband spend almost 20 hours a week reading books.His goal is to be an erudite before hit his 40.
Doing something that is boring, unnatural, and devoid of organic stimulus is not (necessarily) virtue.It is meant to train people to become good bureaucrats and other slaves.
When I die, give my whole body to science, except my middle finger, give it to those NETFLIX executives who decided to cancel this series. (1)
Unintended consequences- part 1In ancient Rome, a group of men loyal to the Republic feared that Julius Caesar was going to make his dictatorship permanent and establish a monarchy. In 44 BC they decided to assassinate him, thereby restoring the Republic. In the ensuing chaos and... See More »
You can be sure that the person has means but not will to help you when he said, “There is nothing more i can do to help.”And you can be extremely sure when person has neither means nor will to help you when said, “I am here to help,”
A man joined a gym and said to the trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?He said, “Try the ATM outside”
Spider King and the AstrologerLouis XI (1423-1483), the great Spider King of France, had a weak- ness for astrology. He kepta court astrologer whom he admired, until one day the man predicted that a lady of the court would die within eight days. When the prophecycame true, Louis... See More »
J.K. Rowling recently tweeted out that Hogwarts actually has a full gym for wizards to exercise and lift weightsThe entrance is called the Dumbbell Door.
