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Addictedtoglamour

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This is why I hate dogs

They always eat and ruin everything. I just recently lost a pair of shoes because of a friends dog.

Doesn't this sound like the best idea ever?

For my birthday party invites I was thinking about wearing nothing but a long white fur coat, posing all glamorous with a glass of champagne and I want it to look all 1940s.

I'm Mad As Hell, And I'm Not Gonna Take It Anymore

Wow I thought you were supposed to be my friend but I find out now that you are the source of the rumors going on about me. The same ones you've been churning out for awhile. I don't like you running around making up things about me. The mo...

Who's going to fan me and feed me fruit as I lay by the pool?

Who else fake their community service hours needed to graduate highschool?

This can't be safe can it?

I would never let this happen to my car nor would I ever drive one like that

Why do I keep having constant horrible thoughts about waking up and being broke someday?

Like I will go to use my card someplace and it won't work. I will try another and it won't work. I'll check my account and it's all gone or it's all been frozen. It gives me anxiety.

Isn't it frustrating to know how much of a snake someone is and nobody else can see it?

Everyone just loves this one girl i work with but she's such a two faced snake. Plus she hates me for no reason because I barely even talked to them in the first place. Makes me sick.

Why do people get so mad over a few cents difference at the grocery store?

It's like 2 cents lady just pay and leave the rest of us have places to be.

Doesn't it suck when you have random pain come out of nowhere?

Stupid stomach pain comes and goes

What's something you want to do before you die?

I want to snort a 9inch line off a 10inch schlong.

I Can Be A Little Vain At Times

I admit to being on the vain side. But can you blame me though? The world puts a lot of emphasis on appearance and first impressions. Things I am hard on myself for are aging, my hair starting to go, and overall falling apartness. We all know that yo...

If you lost your teeth would your life be ruined?

I feel like I'm going to lose some of mine somewhere down the line. The gums around my bottom front two have receded quit a bit and it's making me sad.

Omg I feel old with all these class of 2018 graduates

I'm old I graduated in 2009

When did you get your first job?

I was about 25.

Can I retire already?

If you were 40 and got wrinkles would you get botox?

I would. If I started getting wrinkly before 40 i would so get botox and fillers. No way am I going to be withered and gross.

Alright who else fantasised about eating that giant cake in Matilda when you were a kid?

I know I can't be the only one who wanted to do that.

I Did a Stupid Thing

I once ate a cookie the size of a dinner plate. It was a horrible idea as I had a terrible stomach ache for what felt like eons after. My teeth felt like they were going to rot out of my skull. I felt like I gained 20lbs. Worst of all? I ate the whol...

Dont you haye being the ugly one in the family?

My cousins are like models and then there's me. It's depressing. I'm also the fugly brother.

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