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I Saw My Friend Nude
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I just saw my roommate nude

I have this roommate. Let’s call her Jess. (I don’t want to use her actual name). We have been living together for about three years now. Celebrated our 21 birthdays by getting absolutely fucking wasted. Which sucked because hers was immediately after mine.

And as of this past month I’ve been developing something of a crush on her. I was sent home early and texted her letting her know I was off early. The only reason for this is we both own guns. I own an old Winchester shotgun (I cannot remember the year for the life of me) that my great great grandfather bought after he got home from World War I. In other words I owned a fucking trench gun. She owns a mosenberg. Pretty sure I butchered the spelling on that one. Anyways, so I don’t get shot I text her if I’m off ahead of time because I like having the same number of holes I started the day with.

Anyways I digress. So I text her letting her know I got off early and that I’d be home soon. What I didn’t notice was the message failed to send.

I get home and apparently she decided to do her laundry and take a shower followed. Because as I’m walking inside the house I close the door and make my way to the living room. Jess has her mosen locked cocked and ready to rock so as I’m in the living room she rounds the hallway bringing the rifle and I immediately drop my books and put my hands up saying “It’s me, it’s...” and it was at this point I realize two things:
A.) She quite obviously did not see my text for some reason.
And
B.) She was completely naked

Now Jess, when it comes to anything other than that gun she is the stereotypical blonde. Think of Jillian from Family Guy but with scary accurate knowledge on any type of gun dating from the civil war to the Vietnam war. With this in mind I guess it didn’t dawn on her she wasn’t wearing anything. At least not immediately. I snapped out of my daze and averted my eyes while pointing down. Now I know this is a faux pas to look away as I have already seen everything but it was instinct kicking in. I just hear her scream and run towards her room however that is locked. I immediately run to my room and grab a shirt, jeans, and a belt for her and then hand them over to her to wear while she waits for her laundry. Now I’m not perfect or infallible so I will admit I copped a glance or two at her as she was getting dressed. Typically I don’t care what a woman looks. You can be he hottest woman on the planet but if you are dishonest, cruel or just disrespectful then those looks just do not matter. However, I will say I always thought Ashley was beautiful but in that moment I thought she was going to make me look Master Roshi from dragon ball.

Jokes aside, since then she hasn’t really spoke to me and has spent every second in her room. And is actively ignoring me after numerous attempts to talk to her. I even made chicken Parmesan and baked an eggnog cheesecake, which until now, she can’t resist.
Oldest First | Newest First | Top
Becksta · 36-40
What's her name, Jess or Ashley??? You wanna proof read what you've written... 🤦‍♀️
geoam1 · 51-55, M
[@1205575,Andrew97] You said you were using Jess as a fake name but at the end used the Name ASHLEY instead of Jess. So we're all assuming Ashley is her real name.
geoam1 · 51-55, M
[@25801,DeluxedEdition] you play nice or it's back to the basement for you
DeluxedEdition · 22-25, F
[@100938,geoam1] joke's on you i like the basement
JesseInTX · 46-50, M
She’s probably just a little embarrassed. No big deal. She will snap out of it. Just will take a little time. On a side note I don’t understand why people get freaked out if they’re seen naked. Nudity is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
keeper · 41-45, M
Great first post 🙄
helenS · 31-35, F
Now you have something to think of for the next 40 years.
Andrew97 · 22-25, M
[@6602,helenS] Great. Because I don’t have enough of those.
FaeLuna · 26-30, F
Honestly, I'd be more concerned that you come in and she's pointing a gun at you. That seems like the more concerning, dangerous thing than seeing her naked. That's just asking for an accident to happen.

I mean, you're roommates, the accidental nudity happens. My roommate and I have seen more of each other than we expected. Two of my other friends shared a house, and there was accidental nudity there too. Sure, she's embarrassed, but you'll both get over it and laugh about it some day.
Andrew97 · 22-25, M
[@748264,FaeLuna] well I’m not saying we live in a bad neighborhood but two of my neighbors had their homes broken into this month and last.
FaeLuna · 26-30, F
[@1205575,Andrew97] Okay, maybe the response is more justified than I thought!
DeluxedEdition · 22-25, F
hahahahahhahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha
Quetzalcoatlus · 41-45, M
Pics?
Andrew97 · 22-25, M
[@946009,Quetzalcoatlus] i wasn’t gonna take pictures of her while she was naked dude.
JoePourMan · 61-69, M
You want us to believe Jess/Ashley came out of her room, naked, with a loaded rifle, thinking there was an intruder in the house, but took time to lock and close her bedroom behind her.
That among other "details" leads me to believe this is just poorly written fantasy
FaeLuna · 26-30, F
[@1097981,JoePourMan] I don't know about that. I accidentally locked myself out of my apartment once while getting pizza from the delivery guy, solely because I lock the front door out of habit and I just happened to not have keys at the time.
Becksta · 36-40
[@1097981,JoePourMan] Yeah, leave Jess/Ashley/Frank alone!!! Of course, that's what happened... in his dreams!!! 🤣

 
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