I Am a Twin
We've always been living together. Identical twins. Spent about half of our life with shared rooms, and the rest with shared clothes, shared friends, shared interests and hobbies. We have the same strengths and weaknesses. The same talents.
Every year for birthday and Christmas, we'd get presents with "to: the twins" on each one. We'd hate it, getting gifts grouped together instead of individually. Felt like people considered us to be one person instead of two.
I sometimes find myself acting the same way, though. I've gotten so used to saying "we" that I often say it accidentally instead of "I" when talking about something I did independent of her. When I had a falling-out with my other siblings, so did she. When we moved away from our childhood town, we moved into an apartment together to go to the same school. Not because we necessarily wanted to stay together, but because we both wanted to move away and we both liked that school. Jokes about basically being the same person have become so frequent they don't feel like jokes anymore.
But we're splitting up this summer, and honestly? I have no idea what will happen then.
We're moving to two different dormitory colleges, one southeast and one southwest. It'll be the first time we're properly separated for longer amounts of time. Now I'll be by myself in a new environment, and if I don't find a new social circle, we don't have the safety net we've always had in each other... I'm so nervous I'll end up sitting alone.
She'll make friends that I don't know and experiences that I won't share.
I'm scared that if I'll call her, she'll have to explain what's going on in her life. Scared of having to tell her about people she's never met.
Scared we'll lose the connection we have now.
Every year for birthday and Christmas, we'd get presents with "to: the twins" on each one. We'd hate it, getting gifts grouped together instead of individually. Felt like people considered us to be one person instead of two.
I sometimes find myself acting the same way, though. I've gotten so used to saying "we" that I often say it accidentally instead of "I" when talking about something I did independent of her. When I had a falling-out with my other siblings, so did she. When we moved away from our childhood town, we moved into an apartment together to go to the same school. Not because we necessarily wanted to stay together, but because we both wanted to move away and we both liked that school. Jokes about basically being the same person have become so frequent they don't feel like jokes anymore.
But we're splitting up this summer, and honestly? I have no idea what will happen then.
We're moving to two different dormitory colleges, one southeast and one southwest. It'll be the first time we're properly separated for longer amounts of time. Now I'll be by myself in a new environment, and if I don't find a new social circle, we don't have the safety net we've always had in each other... I'm so nervous I'll end up sitting alone.
She'll make friends that I don't know and experiences that I won't share.
I'm scared that if I'll call her, she'll have to explain what's going on in her life. Scared of having to tell her about people she's never met.
Scared we'll lose the connection we have now.
22-25, F
