I Miss Someone Who Died

My dad's (who raised me as single parent) mother always felt like my mother. My birth mother was in my life on rides to and from school, on holidays, and days her numerous jobs didn't call her in. But my dad's mom and I were together much more (my mom works multiple jobs) My grandma would watch me while my dad was at his state job and I wasn't in an after school program. She'd had 8 children, 6 grandchildren, including me, and I'm not sure how many great grandchildren. She taught me about everything from religion, to menstrual cycles, to cooking, handling my own finances to love life and fashion, can't forget that. She was diagnosed with lung cancer when I was 17 and passed when I was 18. I saw her go through things I could not stand. To this day, at 24, I do not understand why it had to be her and not me. She did not deserve it