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How do you take responsibility of your own actions?

I have a lot of anger issues, a lot of negativity in my head, esp with my family, my dad, brother & sister can be quite dominating... my mum & sister keep telling me to 'let it go' 'ignore the shit' but i can't just get over it immediately... a lot of the shit i have been exposed to has been there since i was a child... all of this has made me turn to drink which has gone out of control over the past year, to the extent of my husband leaving me.

I have sought treatment & seeing a therapist which is helping to an extent but i keep being told i need to take responisbility of my own actions... i don't know how to do that!

I have my parents & brother staying with me at the minute & i'm at the point where the smallest thing is bugging me & my need to want to live alone is becoming overwhelming & my family are tired of hearing me say that... my mum knows the difficulty i've had with my dad brother & sister but just keeps telling me to ignore it... they have tired telling my brother to stay out of my way, but there's still the little things that are beginning to bug me...

i really don't know what to do to get me out of my rut...
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Zonuss · 41-45, M Best Comment
It means you should stop blaming others for bring angry. Stop being insecure. Start realize you make mistakes and own.them.

ozgirl512 · 26-30, F
You need I think, to make a break... Be on your own for a while... Often it's better to try to see things from a different perspective... It helps to see things differently, and in doing so, move on.

You can't change the past, but it is possible to view it differently .... Good luck
BondGirl84 · 36-40, F
[@516864,ozgirl512] I do need the space... my family aren't getting it, my sister refuses to live with my brother but tells me to get over it if my brother pisses me off...
ozgirl512 · 26-30, F
[@350760,BondGirl84] time to plan your future me thinks... Get what you want out of life ...
At your age, you really need to live on your own. You need that space to heal and not be bothered by others every day.
BondGirl84 · 36-40, F
[@372543,Vivaci] thats what I keep saying but they aren't getting it... its circumstantial that my brother is staying with me but feel under pressure...
You can just take a break and live at a aunt/cousins place in another city for a few days. [@350760,BondGirl84]
BondGirl84 · 36-40, F
[@372543,Vivaci] I own the property where I live & my immediate family are the only family in the country where I live!!
Graylight · 46-50, F
The first thing you do is take care of yourself. You can make amends for the past by creating a better future. You and your therapist know what's right for you; don't allow your family to dictate your worth of happiness.

Take stock of everything in your life; imagine opening a closet and then categorizing what you find. Put all the things you could not change to one pile, then create a pile for those things for which you have shared responsibility. The 3rd pile is stuff you maybe blamed on others but which, in the light of day, may be on you.

Figure out the scope and nature of the work before you set out. And maintain healthy boundaries, which is often the hardest thing. Remember, 'no' is a full sentence. Good luck.
DawsonsGrove · 51-55, F
Move out and get your own place
Distance yourself from your family
When the issues start in your head, fend them off. Tell yourself you are not even going to entertain the thoughts. Do something to occupy your mind and time but do not turn to alcohol.
Firstly being honest and owning up

 
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