How do I get better?

Between mid last year and start of this year, I wasn't doing too good mentally. I had gone through a break up and I never got closure, so this brought my struggle with self worth to the surface. I feel like this is going to sound dumb, but I love cars, they make me super happy. I have my own, and it's definitely not the best, but I've always wanted to have a loud and low car with a spoiler, just like I see a lot of car people with. I want to do that with my car, and I know it's not the greatest, it's just a 2001 Lancer. I've copped a lot of hate for my car from friends, and I've even been told to just leave it, keep it quiet essentially because nothing I do will make it a good car. Seeing other people with good cars getting so much love sucks because I feel like that'll never happen to me. People even tell me that they don't care about me liking cars when I mention something car related, or they just disregard whatever I say.

Hearing this stuff just makes me feel worse. Not just about my car, but about myself as well. I want to do something which makes ME happy, but with others pushing me down, I don't know how to. I've always put up with things that I don't deserve, and I thought I was getting better, but I've started going downhill again. I feel worthless, hopeless, like I'll never be loved/appreciated and I don't deserve happiness. I want to get help, but I hate talking about my feelings so much. I just don't know what to do.