I Am A Teen And Still Have A Babysitter

I was raised by a single mom and she left me with babysitters a LOT the entire time I grew up, even when I was a teenager. One of the things that bothered me about that is when I was a kid all my babysitters were teenagers. Yet when I became a teen, I still had babysitters. When I brought up that point to my mom she said "You're not mature enough to stay home alone". What I really think was going on is that my mom didn't want me to have freedom when she was gone. She wanted someone to enforce her rules (I still had a bedtime), make sure I do my homework and chores, and make sure I didn't go out with friends.

Thankfully I never had a sitter who was my age or younger. I would have hated that! But the older I got the closer the age gap became. When I was a high school Sophomore, one of my frequent babysitters was a Senior at my same school. I was so worried that she was going to tell everyone that she babysat me. That would have been so embarrassing. I'm not sure who or If she told but somehow I never heard anything about it from my classmates which I was thankful for.

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Briandl · M

Hello, thank you for sharing your story. It's surprising your mom found a babysitter for you from the same school. You mentioned she was your babysitter pretty frequently. Did she act like an adult when she came over to babysit you? I am curious if your mom embarrassed you and brought her over to meet you first before she started babysitting you. I hope to hear from you.

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Cleancut · 56-60, M

@Briandl I complained to my mom at first that this babysitter was close to my age and even went to my same school. My mom got mad and yelled "do not question who I hire to babysit you". She didn't know I overheard the conversation but that night my mom was on the telephone talking to one of her girlfriends "my kid's new babysitter is his age, maybe a little older, but she is so much more mature than him, you know my kid is so immature he's like a little boy". So my mom really believed I was an immature little kid. It didn't seem like she was trying to rub it in about our ages, she genuinely believed it all made sense. Hearing that call it was a mix of embarrassment, defensiveness and acceptance. What I mean by acceptance is my mom sounded so confident that I was immature that it made me think that maybe I was afterall.

She would often have the adult conversation at the dining room table while I was in the living room. I could hear every word. Yes she often said be good...she was used to saying it for years. It was kind of a ritual. Sometimes she would say to the sitter "if my kid gives you any trouble let me know".

Briandl · M

@Cleancut Thanks for the quick reply. Wow, your mom was really mad when you questioned her about your new babysitter. It sounds like your mom really did believe that you were not mature and just a little boy who still needed a babysitter. It sounds like she made that quite clear to you not to question her because you were not mature enough to have a discussion about a babysitter.
That had to be embarrassing as a sophomore hearing your mom on the phone with her girlfriend talking about your new babysitter. It sounds like she wanted to vent to someone and I am sure her friend told her that she was making the right decision and agreed that you should still have a babysitter. I can understand how that made you feel because it's hard to be a teenager and want independence but your mom is telling all her friends about how you still need a babysitter.
I can understand how you felt like a little boy because even if your mom brought her friends over, they probably all knew that your mom still hired a babysitter for you when she went out so it's hard to act like a teenager and do your own thing when your mom was more than happy to share that she "still needed a babysitter" for you.
You mentioned that your mom would always tell you to "be good" when she left. That had to be embarrassing hearing her talk to your babysitter before she left for the night. Luckily she did not tell your babysitter about your spankings. It was bad enough that she told your babysitter to "let her know if she has any problems" implying that mommy would take care of it of you misbehaved with the babysitter. As an older teenager, I certainly can imagine how that made you feel like a little boy knowing the babysitter would tell your mom if you misbehaved. Did your babysitter ever warn you that she would tell your mom if you didn't do something she asked?

Briandl · M

@Cleancut Hey there, after reading your last reply it seems like your mom wanted to make a clear distinction between you and the babysitter. Even though you both were really close in age, your mom always seemed to drive the point home that you were just a child and you needed a babysitter. That had to be a little frustrating as an older teenager trying to get your point across only to be shut down and told the you were not to question who your mom picked as your babysitter. I can imagine that was a little defeating hearing that and knowing your new babysitter was coming over regardless of what you thought.
Since your mom considered you a immature little boy, it was probably very easy for her to relate that to the babysitter. It seems like a babysitter she hired for you was just the same as her. She was not there to be your friend, she was there to watch you. I am sure your mom probably noticed the babysitters interaction with you a little bit before she left. Obviously she really liked her because she did not come over and just act like your friend from school, she came over and was there to babysit. it sounds like when she came over and was friendly and talk to your mom, the thought did not even cross her mind to include you in the conversation because you are just a child. You need to go play WoW they talked and had "adult" conversations.

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