I’ve been focked over pretty much by toxic people. I like to socialize in real life and it makes me having lot of different type of friends. I like them around - it makes me knowing and understanding different characters, hobbies, talents, life stories and all.
I’m kind of 24/7 loyal friend to my close people. I’ve always tried my best to be around them even if there was a family gathering or if I was dating, sleeping or in the middle of something, I would try hard to go be with them. Even if I was doing something, I’d take a minute break to text or call if they’re alright until one day one by one in different time they focked me over, not all of them but most of them. Maybe I’ve been too freaking nice and they took an advantage of it. The crazy part is I knew there was slightly not right with their personality in the beginning we met but I kept it going cause I wanted to believe they could change. I’m not a saint but I know how to be loyal, understand, respect and not be fucking selfish to my people. However I won’t let any new people getting close to me if I feel strong feelings of their sh!t negativity.
I am still recovering mentally for being hurt by my bestie last year that I’ve known for 5 solid years. It was focking hurt like shit. The emotional pain makes me stop doing fave things, falling sick, loosing weight and many sh!ts and it’s been a year. The funny part is when we met 5 years ago, I felt there was wrong with this person but the situation around me that time needed us to meet to be together as a team. Eventually my intuition is focking right as always.
I love friendship. I’d be dying without friends. These experiences has made me becoming very picky for having close friends since 10 ish years ago and quitting my self for having hundred of friends and few colleagues instead of just having few close buddies, more colleagues and more acquaintances. Don’t get me wrong, few colleagues had fucked me over as well in business cause again I wanted to believe they would change their shit greedy over material possession. I’ve been trying many times to stop trusting new people, but it doesn’t work and it won’t cause I need to trust people to keep continue living in this social world as a social human. BUT hell right now there is level of focking trust.
I’m giving my positive vibe to all loyal human who reads this.
Be proud of who we are. We are very guh dam rare kind. Salute.