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I Have Ptsd
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Jail, prison, and even cops trigger me like heck

Not formally diagnosed but it definitely fits the symptoms. It is mild but disturbing. I'm no combat vet.

A couple years ago I worked at a jail and ever since then I can't watch anything with prisons or trials or criminals getting busted in it. I avoid all media with that content and avoid discussing or even thinking about it too long. American Gods might be good but I can't handle the first chapter. Even Trailer Park Boys going to jailers other episode upsets me a bit and that show is all about cartoonish over the top sort of humor.

When you get to know people and they are going away for 20 years and you see their lives and their pain it is too much to bear. Or the kid who comes in and out all the time and is going to end up dead or in prison on that trajectory...and you see it happen. You work with sex offenders and dangerous people and you feel that what they need is HELP not more torment. When you know that the system has nothing to do with rehabilitation and they will come out more damaged. When you take care of people after prison and see what it did to them as a person...

...it takes a toll.

I sometimes have nightmares but mostly it's a crushing feeling in my heart like I am mourning for all those lives. Not just their lives but their families.

The United States isn't free. If you are thinking of coming here, don't. You're more likely to end up in prison than living your dream. Don't come.
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Adaydreambeliever · 56-60, FVIP
You sound like a really caring person, deeply caring on a level most people just don't bother with.. these things hurt you and you hate to think of them..

You may well be totally right.. I am an optimist, I know this.. I kinda like watching those programmes as there are always some who get changed for the better for the experience. .I remember particularly watching one about young teenage girls.. some did keep coming back but some used it as a chance to change their life.. I like to think of the latter kind mostly.
Doomflower · 36-40, F
[@7167,Adaydreambeliever] the problem is when you work in the system you see the people who don't learn over and over and they are worse off every time you see them. Each time the system breaks off a piece. They can't recover but they keep getting punished for it. The cycle sucks them in like an abusive relationship.

Like ... prostitution should not be something you can be arrested for doing. Period. PERIOD. If anything they should be given free check ups and assistance getting away from any abusers in their life.

What does our system do? Treat them like criminals and that only drives them deeper into crime until they get a bit older and end up doing crazier and riskier things for cash like being a drug mule and BAM now you go to prison. Life ruined. Didn't have to be that way.

 
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