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I Want To Be Special To Someone

We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because I am myself is wrong in some way, and I seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into my own wrongness. And it isn’t until I finally run up against my deepest demons, my unsolvable problems—the ones that make me truly who I am—that I'm ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do I finally know what I'm looking for. I'm looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone I lovingly gaze upon and think, this is the problem I want to have. I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way. I will let scars fall in love.

My love is like the stars of the sky and maybe they do not understand the importance of what a little light from the stars can do, but someday someone will realize that they need it too and look up to it. There is no fear now. I will let go and just be free. I will fall in love madly.

I will never lose hope, my heart, miracles dwell in the invisible. These pains I feel are messages, I listen to them. My task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within myself that I have built against it.
abe182 · 46-50, M

 
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