Anxious
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I've one goal in life.

**TRIGGER WARNING***

I have one major goal in life. Its something that I have wanted since I was a little girl trying to escape the pain of my life. The escape the horrors of my childhood. I did not have it easy growing up. It's something that I still carry with me almost every single day of my life. Coming from a broken home it shapes you in a way that changes your whole life.

My childhood was not easy, it was rough, and scary and something that I wonder sometimes if I will ever fully be free from. I still have a lot of bad memories and nightmares from what I went through as a child. Alcoholic abusive father, mother who wasn't all too interested in being a mother. Being ashamed to wear shorts or a t-shirt because of the bruises. Always having to come up with a lie for what happened to me.

My goal in life, is to make sure that my children have a childhood that they do not have to recover from. My goal in life is to make sure they have a happy and safe childhood, where all they know if Love, and happiness. My goal is to protect my children from everything, from the horrors in this world, from the monstrous things that the human species can do to each other.

I make a vow to ALWAYS protect my children. To ALWAYS love them, to ALWAYS believe them. To be there for them in good times and in bad times. To be there for them for anything.

My one goal in life is to give my children a childhood that they do not have to recovery from.

I can relate to this for I was abused as a child and teen by those who should have loved and cared for me. My mother left my Father when I was 3. rather than get us a house she moved me in with her Mother-two sisters and a brother. They were not fond of her moving back-and they detested who she married. So when I was seen it was a reminder of him. they could not take it out in her-she was family. So they took it out on me. The abuse was mental.

I knew before I was 10 that if i ever married I'd never raise my children the way I was raised for this was mean and cruel. My children are now grown adults and I never did raise them that way. I still despise what was done to me.

I cannot relate to physical abuse..That has to be it's own separate hell. In a way we each have lived hell. I never had nightmares. I learned early on how to process the hate directed towards me by small minded people intent on hurting one who is defenseless.

I wish you luck. this can be done. I know. I did it. I'm living proof that the sins of the past need not read their ugly head in the present. Let sleeping dogs lie. And don't ever accept apologies form any as abuse cannot be excuse off easily.
AlyAngel · F
@Elandra77 I just want to stop the cycle of abuse with my. My father was abused, and then turned around and abused me. My husbands dad was abused then turned around and abused him. I dont understand people who can hurt their children. It fucking hurts for a lifetime. Leaves scars that can not always be seen. Although I've several scars that can be seen due to the hands of my father. I would kill someone if they hurt my babies.
TexChik · F
Been there done that too sis! I was lucky and my adoptive parents were angels and they knew just what to do with me. The ptsd will always bring back the torture and rape, so I can never completely escape it...but my husband and happy sweet kids show me how wonderful life can be. I like to think I suffered so my kids wont have to. I know its silly but it helps me cope
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