Ok here’s my latest fantasy..we haven’t seen each other for years and you’re getting married to some bit part actor with bad hair..

Anyway you’re literally at the altar all sad and heartbroken because you’ve lost the love of your life (that’s me) and I’m racing to get there in a red spitfire..I make it in the nick of time and burst through the doors just as the Vic is saying “or forever hold your peace”.. I scream “NOOOOOOOOO” and the whole church just gasps in horror..You turn..a look of full lust and relief on your gorgeous face..

Okay that’s as far as I’ve got but I’m gonna get me punching out your nearly bethrothed and us having wild wet sex in the baptism font before it’s done. I wanted to add in a scene where I cut out your mother’s tongue but I think that’s too much for the Yank audience so I’m gonna leave that part out and add more sex.