Everyday that passes I feel my self die a little more. It's always been a persistent feeling or thought for me. In the past, I often found that darkness inside of me as a hindrance. An obstacle within my mind whenever I was forced into the forward motions of life and living.
Fortunately, I've always been fairly successful at containing that darkness, and keeping the sharpest and roughest edges of it from slicing into or battering those I've loved along the way.
These days, I dwell inside of that darkness and find it almost comforting. Almost as if I am being eased through it into a much deeper, more solid, black. At some point all my threads will be used up, and the blinded weaving of my life's tapestry shall end.
I'm fine with that. Seriously..., I am.
Very few points of light enter into my darker sides. Insulated as those spaces are from almost everything. For despite my penchant of releasing bits and pieces of that darkness through rhyme, it does, and always will remain, a very private place.
The vault of my soul, lies just behind the cage that holds my broken heart. A wound of never ending pain and miseries, within landscapes of barren and salted earth.
The tears are all but gone. Deplete and dried. Only the stains of their memory left now for me to consider. Like shadows dancing through the obscurity and lightlessness. Hard to see clearly, but you can feel them there. Spinning and smiling in a crooked fashion.
Some lights do prick and prod at those spaces. However the guardians of these inner spaces are deft at displacing them.
Let the world feel my light. Let it know my warmth. Let it take in my smile.
But the darkness..., My never ending cross to bear... That is mine alone... Forever... And always... Until I am gone...