I Don't Say I Love You Unless I Mean It
I can count on one my hand the amount of times I have said "I love you" to both of my children, my spouse, my brothers, grandmother and my mother. To me it means very little and can be perceived as a meaningless sentiment in today's society. Too often has someone heard these words from someone that they feel deeply for only for it to be a false decietful act and leads to heartache of some kind, whether it be from a lover, a relative or a friend.
I wont say "I love you" to just anyone and never will I say it frequently. Even the ones closest to me have only heard me tell them I love them a few times in my lifetime. Why is that when statistics show "I love you" is reported that it is not spoken often enough or heard nearly enough. This is because you shouldn't have to boost someone's self estimate with verbal reassurance constantly.
There is not one of us that can say we don't know someone that has heard "I love you" from an important person in their life just to have the actions contradict the concept of love in it's entirety by the very same person.
When I say "I love you" I want it to hold a powerful meaning to them and it does. To me hearing those 3 little words "I love you" means absolutely nothing to me. I don't feel, my emotional range is very limited and has been since I was a born.
I've never cried. I've never been heartbroken. I've never been afraid. I've never been crippled by grief and I've never felt anything remotely close to what I have heard love is. That's not to say others don't show me they love me or that I think I'm not loved because I am. Though I never have felt anything more then an idle content, lust, pride and occasionally anger and disgust. None of which is always a good thing depending on the context.
But to others in my life... love is a concept like no other in this world and even though I can't experience it myself I still want the ones that have invested time and love into me, not seen me as apathetic, that has stuck by me though may have been stressful and highly trying for them to do so... I want them to know I understand and I see what love is.
For me it is difficult to even say the words because I truely don't feel anything remotely close to love. To me love has never been an emotion to be felt it is a action that can be seen. It is a understanding, an idea and a concept that can be done in many ways. Saying I love you is easy, showing someone you can love them is not. Saying those words is not something I take lightly in doing so, so to the ones in my life it holds more vaule and means everything to hear those 3 little words "I love you" spoken to them knowing my opinion of the notion.
I wont say "I love you" to just anyone and never will I say it frequently. Even the ones closest to me have only heard me tell them I love them a few times in my lifetime. Why is that when statistics show "I love you" is reported that it is not spoken often enough or heard nearly enough. This is because you shouldn't have to boost someone's self estimate with verbal reassurance constantly.
There is not one of us that can say we don't know someone that has heard "I love you" from an important person in their life just to have the actions contradict the concept of love in it's entirety by the very same person.
When I say "I love you" I want it to hold a powerful meaning to them and it does. To me hearing those 3 little words "I love you" means absolutely nothing to me. I don't feel, my emotional range is very limited and has been since I was a born.
I've never cried. I've never been heartbroken. I've never been afraid. I've never been crippled by grief and I've never felt anything remotely close to what I have heard love is. That's not to say others don't show me they love me or that I think I'm not loved because I am. Though I never have felt anything more then an idle content, lust, pride and occasionally anger and disgust. None of which is always a good thing depending on the context.
But to others in my life... love is a concept like no other in this world and even though I can't experience it myself I still want the ones that have invested time and love into me, not seen me as apathetic, that has stuck by me though may have been stressful and highly trying for them to do so... I want them to know I understand and I see what love is.
For me it is difficult to even say the words because I truely don't feel anything remotely close to love. To me love has never been an emotion to be felt it is a action that can be seen. It is a understanding, an idea and a concept that can be done in many ways. Saying I love you is easy, showing someone you can love them is not. Saying those words is not something I take lightly in doing so, so to the ones in my life it holds more vaule and means everything to hear those 3 little words "I love you" spoken to them knowing my opinion of the notion.
