The scariest time of my life is when

The girl I broke my back for and gave everything to I finally decided it wasn't going to work out and as soon as I started to let her go honestly, in my mind, first I had a strange really strong euphoric self love feeling that just took hold of me entirely and then it started to dissapear then the scariest feeling that I didn't have a self anymore was just washing away from me, I felt like I (my sense of me) was literally fading in a matter of minutes, soon I couldn't think about anything at all, my sense of self was dissapearing, an ego death. It was horrifying as I just felt internally I actually died inside with absolutely nothing consuming my brain just a complete void