I Miss Someone Very Much

[b]To the person who hurt me:[/b]


I feel like a fool for allowing myself to open up, allowing myself to fall in love with you.The person I fell in love with, I thought I knew them.That sweet person, that person who helped me and saved me, gave me someone to put all my hope into.I wanted to help them overcome their issues as well, just as they helped me.

They were my friend, someone I adored.They looked so normal, like everyone else, when I first met them.However, one day I was told that it was fake.The person I knew.That sweet person, that stubborn, silly, and adorable person, wasn't real.Who were they this entire time if I didn't know you?

If all I was, was a toy to you, why did you stay with me so long?If all I was there for was entertainment.If you manipulated more than just me, like you said. I feel like a fool for still loving you, because I do, yet I hate you.The person you turned into is cold, hurtful, and manipulative.You aren't anyone I know or can recognize.

Is it true you never cared for me to begin with?It was all fake?Even so, I love you a lot.I still do, and I forgive you.I hope you never forget me.I hope I meant something to you, that you liked me once, just for a split second.How could you stay with someone so long and still choose to hurt them from the beginning?I never imagined this would be our goodbye.

I knew it wouldn't last, you were too far away for me to help you.I forgive you, because I'm sure you had a reason for doing all that.Maybe you were hurt.I forgive you, but I can't seem to forget about you.I hope you never forget me, I hope I'm always in your mind.That you never forget what you lost.I could have helped you, but you didn't want that.I could have been there for you, but you denied that.So, I will move on and find others, and you will stay that person you are, whoever you are.You lost a very good person, so I feel sad for you.

The person I thought you were.That lovely person, wasn't real.The person I knew is as good as dead.Then again, I'm not sad because I can never see you again, I'm sad I never could help you.This is my goodbye.

You are right, you could hurt me a lot and you did.I refuse to change how I am, and I will move on.I wish and want to trust people again, and I will, in time.This will only make me stronger.You just taught me that I can love someone and not like them.

There is always a risk of getting hurt, and I knew that from the beginning.I won't shy away from hurt, and I won't stop trying to find people who care about me.If I do stop, I will lose the chance of ever finding those people.I will live happy and move on, that is how I will prove you wrong.That is how I will get back at you.I will move on and you will be alone.

The personality you had, the personality that you had that I adored, is not dead.There are many sweet, silly, stubborn, and adorable people.So I refuse to feel sad about losing you.I love you.I keep wondering if maybe all you said was a lie, that you did like me too.I never imagined this would happen.That was a cruel goodbye.

It was very cruel.

I hate you for that, but I forgive you for manipulating me.I hope you hurt someone you love one day, and lose everything and everyone, so maybe you will change and realize how many people you have hurt.I wish you the best, but I think that is the only way for you to change.I love you.

This is my goodbye to you, since I was never able to give a proper one.I don't want to regret anything, so I'm writing this.I won't forget you and I don't want to.

I love you, goodbye.

Whoever you were, I am sure somewhere inside you, there is a good person.
I wish I could have said a proper goodbye, but it's time I begin to move on.


Goodbye forever.