I am tired today and don't feel like being alive. It's a hassle and I didn't sign up for it. However I am not suicidal. Just not in the mood for life.
I need calories and a walk and to take my meds because my shoulder hurts like heck. All this effort just to maintain my shit body.
I've broken it down to be incredibly easy so I don't have to think too much. Protein shake. Pills from my pill box for this day of the week. Done. I am set for hours. I take a walk and come home and rest.
I use spoon theory. I only have so many spoons. I can add spoons with the right food and exercise.
I tried to get myself off last night and I couldn't. I got so close. So. Close. Then it slipped away. I wanted to scream.