I Want To Talk About Parenting

Hi all! I have a question for all the parents out there. So i’m 26, and my younger sister has been removed from our parents house due to a lot of issues going on at home. I volunteered to be her legal guardian to save her from going to foster care, but now I have a 13 year old at my house that I have no clue how to raise. I have no experience at all with kids or parenting in general. Please send help 😂

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Mamapolo2016 · F

In my opinion, it's important for her to understand that you have accepted a major responsibility because you love your sister.

Discuss the house rules and explain that you need to know where she is and who she is with, because it is your job to keep her safe. Write up a pact, where you agree to do certain things (feed and house her, for example) and she agrees to do certain things (household chores, observing curfew, for example).

Always make your expectations clear.

Andydrew · 26-30, M

@Mamapolo2016 yes I’ve already talked to her about my expectations but I’ve let her know that I’m here for her first and foremost. Maybe I’ll try writing it up since you’re the second person to mention it 😂

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Andydrew The writing it down isn't the important part. The important part is that she reads it and agrees. This will forestall at least some of the "how was I supposed to know?"

JoeyFoxx · 51-55, M

You are 26 and trying to raise your 13 year old sister...

Sounds like she's experienced a lot that would already made her an adult.

You might want to start with the basics:
- make sure she's enrolled in school
- sit down and talk to here about whether she plans to go
- ask her what the most important things are to her right now

Then, play it by ear. Parenting doesn't have a user manual.

Andydrew · 26-30, M

@JoeyFoxx She is enrolled in school, she starts up after the winter break. I’m so grateful to the school for being so accommodating. She’s going to be going (law requires it in my state if under 16). And I understand there’s no “guidebook” but tips are appreciated. I’ve never done anything like this before.

JoeyFoxx · 51-55, M

@Andydrew It pretty much starts and ends with love.

Recognize that she's her own person... who needs guardrails, but not a warden.

You'll need to trust each other.

Sounds like you already have the love part down. You'll figure the rest of it out.

Andydrew · 26-30, M

@JoeyFoxx I appreciate the help and kind words, I’m going to try my best believe me

Confined · 56-60, M

I often encourage parents to put rules, and responsibilities in writing. Rules of the road so to speak. It may help.

Andydrew · 26-30, M

@Confined in writing? I’ll talk to her about it, see if she’d prefer to have it in writing rather than verbally

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Andydrew · 26-30, M

@SW-User well no, she doesn’t. But I still feel like I need to take on some form of a parental role. I’m pretty lenient with her as far curfew and chores and whatnot. I just want to be able to give her some kind of guidance rather than only feeding her and letting her grow up on her own

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