I Am Stronger Because of All I've Been Through
How To Let Go Of Your Past... I thrive on adversity... how else are you to know exactly how much you are worth... it is how you keep composure while thinking on your feet, to fix whatever adversity you are faced with before anyone even knows you met with it :-)
So, how do you know when you have finally let go of something? This is a question that I have struggled with for quite some time... I used to think that I needed to know why.... why a person made the decision they did... why I reacted the way I did... why things didn't go the way I had planned... the list of "why" could continue on forever.... and it probably would have, had I not realized that I needed to grieve....
what I mean by grieve is this: there is a five step process that every human being goes through emotionally when they grieve, and although some of the emotions are not fun... they must be felt. These five stages of grief are usually used to describe a person's reaction to the death of a loved one but can be used in the grieving process of anything from a marriage, job, idea, dream, even an addiction.... they are: 1) denial and isolation 2) anger 3) bargaining 4) depression 5) acceptance... You need to move through each stage and actually feel these emotions that are attached to each process in order to move on... if you deny yourself the negative emotions, you will NEVER be able to move on.
So, how do you know when/if you have moved past one stage and into the next? Notice your feelings when you have them... you have to know what you are feeling and why you are feeling it... the first is the hardest to admit because by very definition once you admit that you are doing it, you have already moved on to stage two. Bargaining is the easiest to notice because you feel the least amount of pain... it is somewhat the eye of the storm of pain.... where the anger from stage two turns inward and develops into depression when you take ownership of the role you played in losing whatever it is that you lost. Only after you have assumed responsibility of the role you played, will you be able to move on.
So, how do you know when you have finally let go of something? This is a question that I have struggled with for quite some time... I used to think that I needed to know why.... why a person made the decision they did... why I reacted the way I did... why things didn't go the way I had planned... the list of "why" could continue on forever.... and it probably would have, had I not realized that I needed to grieve....
what I mean by grieve is this: there is a five step process that every human being goes through emotionally when they grieve, and although some of the emotions are not fun... they must be felt. These five stages of grief are usually used to describe a person's reaction to the death of a loved one but can be used in the grieving process of anything from a marriage, job, idea, dream, even an addiction.... they are: 1) denial and isolation 2) anger 3) bargaining 4) depression 5) acceptance... You need to move through each stage and actually feel these emotions that are attached to each process in order to move on... if you deny yourself the negative emotions, you will NEVER be able to move on.
So, how do you know when/if you have moved past one stage and into the next? Notice your feelings when you have them... you have to know what you are feeling and why you are feeling it... the first is the hardest to admit because by very definition once you admit that you are doing it, you have already moved on to stage two. Bargaining is the easiest to notice because you feel the least amount of pain... it is somewhat the eye of the storm of pain.... where the anger from stage two turns inward and develops into depression when you take ownership of the role you played in losing whatever it is that you lost. Only after you have assumed responsibility of the role you played, will you be able to move on.
41-45, F
