I Want To Be Happy Without Drugs Or Alcohol

Yet there’s still that void that waits for me to give in again. I got rid of all the numbers. Changed mine. But I still reach for the phone sometimes and blankly stare at my contacts waiting for a connect’s name to pop out at me. But I just can’t. There are two nagging voices. One is telling me to get dope. The other is screaming no don’t do it. You’re going to regret it.
So now I’m sitting on the floor of my bathroom vomiting up everything I binged on because if it’s not one vice it’s another. I can’t be viceless. I have to have a crutch. It’s been that way since the very beginning.
I’m not a fun drunk.